Im back. Like finally? hahas. ok i've been lazy or just too tired or jus too pissed to blog lah. so yea. hahas.

There's like so many funny things dat happened lately lah. But im like lazy to write them down here. So if u wana know, maybe u cld drp by Huda's blog when she updates abt it ok! (:

Im just sooo...
Tired. hahas.
School's been a drag. GM projects like a torture. Sheesh. Bloody autoclave machine. Wasted my time. hahas.
To be continued next monday. Sighs.

Mum's still sick. I hope she'll b ok soon. Poor thing. Really.

Im pissed at my player. Rosak sak! Just wen i wana use it for a run. Damit.

Ok nvm. hahas.

Im bored. n sleepy. and tired. n looking fwd to going to biopolis tml. Plus T3 lunch with classmates at Popeye's! ahhaas. i love my class. (:

*SIAL LAH U REALLY BOTAK?! hahas. dat i wana see! (:*

Its obvious that i no longer exist in this place. You've replaced me with her. I don't think u'd mind me being dead. Just like wad the doc said. Maybe this is my last goodbye.

Wanted to blog like alot. But then.
It just isnt a good day after all ok.
I don't think i have the fucking mood.
Tml lah. Or wadever. Or wenever.

*So much for calling urself blood related. U dont even rmbr me till e last min. U forgot that i can die if... Just fuck it lah ok. Its hard to forgive. Its even harder to forget. Especially when it comes from my own effin family.*

*U make excuses boy. I don't think i can trust ur words too soon. Forgive me for this. You say u never regretted wad we had last time. But im telling you, i might have regretted a little. But wad i regret the most. Is the promises i've made to you. Cause now, i have to brake them jus cos of you. Goodbye.*

I MEAN EVERY WORD I SAY...

I practically skipped the morning session of school today. Went to temankan mum go poly. FINALLY and i mean finally, she had to go for an x-ray. Didnt come out too good though. sighs. Hope wed's one will show better results.

I actually turn up for prac. Which i totally regret. It was like soo boring sia.

Ok honestly, today i really don't have the mood to update anything. Its just been a really sucky day and it got worse.

*I'm really sorry to say this. But i wish u'd just drop dead and not wake up anymore. Maybe my life would b better not knowing that u existed.* yes ash im refering to you. u shld leave up to ur name. jus go b a pile of ashes and b blown away by the wind ok? (:

Quote i got from Zed who got it fom his bestie
"girls can serve a purpose that when one day i wana settle dwn she is there"

hahas. so yea. ppl leave me ur comments on that. Wether u agree or not. The question's open to all. (:

Tuition was like a torture. 4 solid hrs of pure torture. hahas. that lil kid sure doesnt wana do his work properly. Honestly, i understand him. Who would when ur sick and its a sunday aftnn. Oh wells. At least its over and i managed to do my notes for GM! yay! all done. except for LT 20. (where is that lect anw!)

School again tml. For sure reach early. For sure i'll be bored. For sure my mind will ask me to skip AC prac. (:
Think if mum's going to poly clinic tml (which i so will ask her to), den probably i'll come by sch later than usual. I hope. Cos if not i'd b outside the LT staring at the nursing students strolling into the auditorium... sighs.

Im bored. Mum's sick. VBI's glued to the tevee. Bro's MIA. Dad's workin. grr. M in no mood to study...

All i can think of is going for a run. But then. Its nearly 7. and mum wun let me out. grr.

*i scream silent screams in the dead of the black night. Tears roll down my face. I stare at the scars i bestowed upon myself. Those clear cuts with the blade. Those sweet memories still fresh in my mind. Crimson red blood rolling down my skin. With teary eyes i smile. Thinking that it takes the pain away. Addiction. One line won't satisfy me. I'd just kept on going till i had no more strength to go on."
-it started when i got with u. it ended when i lost you-

Im bored. Waiting for time to go out for tuition. VBI WAS behind me. Irritating me. Now he's gone. hahas. Heard abt his halo 3 match online when he and bro communicate with the other players all over the world. Funny sia. If u wana know why, and u have and xbox 360 with halo 3 game, go request to be his friend. U'll know why! (:

Anyways, think i slept through most of yesterday. Till this morn. And my fever's still clinging. Gee. No suprise there. Dun think it'd get better too soon. hahas. cos i dun wan it to go. (:

Okies. Im very the bored. Entertained by Zed's comments. hahas. And i gota go off soone. Bloody hell. 4 solid hrs of tuition! Damn. Oh wells. at least the mandarin course starts next wk. For a whole mnth baby!

*Oh shit. 15 more days to VBI's and dad's bdae. so fast*

Daddy requested for durian cake. VBI wants $$. typical brother. hahas. and im getting them cookies. hahas. Plus Vday. Cos i promised niquey i'd give her cookies. hahas. she made me ok! (:

Aite im off. Mite update later if im not too lazy.

Is It Me lyrics - Stacie Orrico

Tryin to analyze every angle, situation
Tryin to find an explanation
Cause it's gettin aggrivating
Why my relationships never seem to work out
Beginnin' to worry and doubt
If I'm even able to detect he's the one

When this day you're wonderin
Why I havent seen the sun
Shine his light on my heart and help me ease the pain
Cause I'm gettin tired of the rain

Fallin on my heartbreak and I
Get my hopes up when I'm in love
Until we break up then I'm back to the
Same spot, I've been lonely, drownin
Cause every guy turns out to be the same
So now I'm questionin' is it me to blame

[CHORUS:]
Is It Me? am I so complicated?
Is It Me? or is love over-rated?
Is It Me? cause I dont quite understand
Why it never turns out how I thought I planned it
Is It Me? am I too independent?
Is It Me? not ready for commitment?
Is It Me? cause it doesnt seem to last
And it's the only question that I never asked

Maybe I'm longin' for it more than I should be expecting
All the standards that I'm settin
Unrealistically I'm gettin
Possibly in the way of what is left to have in store
Because I'm so confused and insecure
Cause when i know for certain everything is goin wrong
I permitted to prolong
Tried my best to hold on
My Mister Right's probably hangin round my window pane
While I look through only watchin the rain

Fallin on my heartbreak and I
Get my hopes up when I'm in love
Until we break up then I'm back to the
Same spot, I've been lonely, drownin
Cause every guy turns out to be the same
So now I'm questionin' is it me to blame

[CHORUS]

Never thought it could be that its me
Till i realized I`m the only
Common factor and played a big part
In lettin people break my heart
Never noticin' I was wasting time
Askin the same thing every time
Who were you with? and where were you at?
Until I took the time to turn and look back

Ooooh la la laLa la la laLa la la

[CHORUS x2]

La la laLa la la la laLa la la

Today's so not my day. Think it was quite obvious that i wasnt in the modd for anything. Fever's shot up again. I felt like crap.

Had Molecular Bio Lect in da morn. Which i so had no mood for. Marisa should know wad i meant. hahas. (:

Lab Math made no difference. Was bored to death. Urgh. Glad there's like no GG today. Serious.
Or else. I don't think i can cope. Came home. Had lunch. Read the papers. Then dozed off. Didnt even notice VBI was bck home from camp. *goodbye quiet days* hees.

I've resorted to watching Kids Central all over again cos VBI and bro's taken over the tevee outside playing Halo 3 online matches. Grr. If only my headache wasnt that bad. :(

Damit i sprained my wrist again! Fck sia. So not a good day.

Rites. At least there's smth to look fwd to tml. Got a date with the girls for a morning run at school tml. Must wake up early. Great huh. For 2.4km test sake. hahas

Pics. Shall upload the one abt the gift uncle got me from Barcelona. I so wana go there!
But will post it up later. Im lazy to go get the wire. (:

Sleepy. Very. Will make this a short one. Got pics. Havent upload. Bsk2 boleh k.

VBI's back tml. Mum'll b happy for sure. Gona kill him though on my side. He reformatted my PSP. dammit.

School's a drag. As always. Got home. Mum was aslp. She's sick. Getting better though. Then heard my uncle jus got out of e hosp. Op on e shoulder. Ouch. been there though. Hope he gets well soon. And i shall thank him for the fan and keychain he gt for me from his trip to Barcelona. Real pretty. Will post pics up tml or smth ok.

Gona b a long weekend. Bloody fever aint making it any better. Plus my gastric's back. Sheesh. Been exhausted too much lately. Which sucks btw. God knows why. Its not like i've been running miles each day. Plan to run tml though. HmmmZ.

Aite. I'm off. Take care ppl.

*Why do u still view me? When all u show me in reality. Is hate and ignorance?
*I hope u'll read the bk i'm giving u soon. Hope u understand, why i'm walking away from u. Hope u understand. Why i'm breaking my promise to u...

Gona update now cos i wana go off. Need to book the tv cos VBI's at camp. I swear his bag for the 3 days camp is like wad i brought for my 5 day camp! hahas. i brought the same bag. Gosh. He got too many things!

Anyways, so happy wen i sent him off this morn. I screamed out to him. GOOD LUC SURVIVING!. hahas. den he gave me that annoyed look. im such a "good" sister. (:

School. Twas a drag. Sighs. Had GM. Kinda boring today. Den mol bio test. Waiting for the test felt like forever. and my bloody micropipette wasnt working well. sheesh! ok enuf of that. Then i had LSP. Omg the vid. Ewww. Made me almost throw up. I felt like punching the guy ar. Fck sia. Such cruelty.

After sch went to T3 with Huda. Got popeye's den hung out there for a while. Then i met Khai and Danny at the bus stop. They screamed like hell ar. I almst didnt hear cos i turned up my music vol to full. hahas. They ate my fries! hahas. (:
*hey they asked abt u. i think u shld ans to them why we ended this way ok? cos i really dunno.*

Got home. Bro's not in a good mood. Like he ever is when he sees me. He's in his room doing god knows what which makes me the more happier. I'm still not over the fact that he said im a burden. Wadever lah bro. Ur just jealous cos mummy and daddy are gona sponsor for my driving! (:

Aite im off. Ppl if u need me gimme a call ok! My hp's on 24/7. Take care ya'll.

"Maybe one day u'll see. How much u really mean to me. Or used to mean to me. I trusted u soo much. It hurt real bad to let u go. But i guess its time. To move on. I'm just glad we're still friends. Even though there's this great feeling of hate for you brewing inside. I'll try my best to let it die down. But i can make no promises. I just cant believe u did it to me. Then left w/o a word. If that's ur way of saying goodbye. Then this is what i have to say. You're no man in my eyes. You're just another lowly coward. I'm sorry. But thats just how i feel. Good luck. Hope u moved on better than i did. (:"

The scars are jus reminders. Of how stupid i was to think that u'd last. I actually believed in ur words. And now im scared for life. As i glance down on my left wrist. I smile as i think back on the day. Of how i used to hurt myself. When i knew i hurt u. Those nights i cried. Just mere memories of how deep i felt for you. Gawd. I feel so stupid now.

But despite of all the hate and bittersweet memories of u, i still have to thank you. For the experience of being with you showed me the truth about the world. About you. About reality. You showed me what i should and shouldnt do. You showed me that i deserve better that wad i use to have and believed. Thanks for all that and all the gifts and such. They're always treasured by me.

Thanks for pushing me to the extreme.

Aites im back. Totally stuffed with pizza and cake and cupcake and soft drinks. With side of gruesome conversations abt the morgue, operations, accidents and such. hahas. dats a family for ya.

VBI's going to camp tml! next 3 days w/o him. will b sooo weird. hahas. good luck lil bro! (:
Stinky's just been such an ass today. Don't even know why. Its like everything bad dat comes from his mouth links back to me. Wth. Its not like i did anything to him! didnt bother standing up for myself with him today cos its mummy's bdae so i'll take it down a notch today. *I may have troubled mum and dad once in a while but you're worse than me with the smoking and bringing girls home and drinking ok bro! unlike you, i still hv my self control and most imptly my pride!* sheesh.

Sleepy rabak seyy. Was like already falling aslp in LM. PLus with my fever since morn. Just great. Think i dragged the fever since Sunday. hahas. Plus didnt bother take med till jus now in sch. hmMmx.

Just don't feel like updating much now lah. Not really in e mood. Its like the whole day's been trashy like hell lah. Ppl in sch sending me angry msgs that was meant for someone else. Dat started to ruin my day. Then im already sick and all. Fck sia. I'm just glad i made it through the celebration w/o having to pick a fight with my bro as always.

Oh dad was telling me i need to pick out a gift for my future sis in law. and im like, see how ar. Seriously. I'm not close to her. I dont think i want to be cos of things that happened in the past. I jus cant forget it. It scared me deep. Damn deep. cos it affected my future for good. sighs.

Im off. Mol bio test tml. Good luck all! (:

Quick update before the pizza comes! hahas. Here's how the cupcakes we ordered for mum turned out! (:
pretty sehh! hahas. and dad went like, so wads mine gonna b? hahas.
BRO ORDERED PIZZA! lmbt seyy. eh ok da sampai. hahas. update more later k! see ya ppl!

i just like got back a while ago. and im like freakin tired. hahas. today was jus great! (:

A rough start for a monday morning. Had AC and GM. Was like almst sleeping already seyy. Den had AC prac test. Was ok. I stressed out over the equations for nothing. Then at first me and hudz were like planning to go to T3 After the test. ok note thos. Original plan was ONLY me and hudz. In the end, we roped about like 12 other ppl along. hahas.omg it was so much fun lah.

we were like ITE KIDS GONE WILD. screaming and laughing and posing like no ones biz. hahas. and the loads of pics we all took. gawd. today is jus so amazing. haha. serious. too lazy to post up ALL the pics lah. i'll post em tml or wed or smth. (:

ok i was like sooo amazed by the candy empire and the cocoa tree. ESP COCOA TREE! cos there was this jellybean machine and it was like so cool and i was like I WANT IT! and yea. hahas. ok mite b a BIG chance i wana go do my special day at terminal 3 cos we've yet to explore it fully! (:

PPL THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY!
MAKE SURE U TURN UP FOR PRAC TML! (:

SQUID PLUS CHARMANDER = CALAMARI RINGS! (:

Damit. I was too tired to blog yest aft GG training so i'll update now... (:

GG training, was a torture as always. Best part. They know they hv test. Not one was fully prepared. So out of like 20 plus girls, only 5 passed. Grr. so much for "good impression" to the district commisioner! sheesh.
OK at least i got to meet anthony! he graduated and he bloody hell didnt tell me lahs! sheesh. n he wun b dwn at bg for a while! wth! he leave me suffering alone! ... *anthony u owe me macs! hees!*

Got back home like V.early. went online and watched saw 4. *to those hu i didnt entertain when u opned a conv with me sorry!* Ok so i only watched halfway. Cos by e time it was like 9 plus i was like sooo sleepy and i had to wake up early so yea. I left the show hanging. hahas.

This morn, canceled the run with Que cos of early mornig showers. Then met her at tamp in search of VBI's camp stuff. That lil lazy ass. All he could tell me was "umm, i just want batteries. the rest u settle for me lah". Wth! i even had to teach him how to pack his bag for camp sia! *damit if u lose my bag or sandals i'll make u clean my room and do my chores for a year!*

Yea then we went for archery. It was like a way smaller grp. so was like fun ar. hahas. can i hit the red mark like finally! gawd! thanks to the umm. capt. hahas.

yea so me and que ran a lap aft archery. neither of us had gained back the stamina from the last SW. hahas. so yea. running every thur and sat yea? any other takers? (:

AIte im like bored now chatting with shane. n tml im heading out with que, edvin and hopefully aidil. We're going gift hunting! hahas.

Mum's bdae is in like 3 days. so yea. looking fwd to it cos me and squirt got her smth nicee for her to try. hahas.

im off. gona continue to watch saw 4. take care ppl!

*go silent.i'll take it as ur dead. (:*

Got home a while ago. Took e bus with dear Huda and Shane. All three of us was like totally bored. hahas. Aft dropping off, me and Shane went to get bubble tea (thanks for e treat man!). Then he was like so bored and no one was able to hang out with him, so we walked me home all e way. hahas.

I'm still bored though. Blasting music from my phone. Being online chatting with Shane. Meeting ain later for GG. but like still long. grr. VBI's not back yet! sure lazy to go home one cos he gt cca later. grr.

bored. bored. bored. bored. everyone's busy with their own things and such. sighs. archery tml. plus running. plus going out on sunday. sighs. im off. will update more ltr!

ALMOST FORGOT! (:

Eyy ppl hu read my blog! hees. im think i caught huda's "high-ness". (:

Anyways....

Its like a thurs! Finally! hahas. Tml's gona b along day. Plus a test. Plus CCA. Plus math. dammn.

OK moving on to My day. hahas
Had LM in e morn. Kinda suckie. Cos i was bored. as always. and i kept rambling on "teach all of us here hv lives to go back to. can we jus go on with the lecture?". yea marisa knows. she was bside me laughing. hahas

After torturous math, i went for LSP. Teach with his new com which he promoted. Now he made me think. Vaio or Apple? Any suggestions? hahas.
The lect was ok. Esp when he scolded his own com. Funny sia! hahas. *cikgu nak stepping matt*

Aft that had like almost 2 hrs to spare. So hung with the rest outside the lab. Had no bloody mood to study. see the pics ar. wad ppl do while waiting for pracs. hahas. the emo's, the harworking ones, the bored ones. gawd. (:

Prac was another slack session. like really. didnt do much. jus counting and drawing of graph. den went with hudz to simei to hang while she wait for her *ahem ahem* L. hahas. Si beylo yg lmbt tu. hahas. Got home. Both bros home. Bro jus snapped a candid of me. Damn him. hahas. VBI's on e xbox360. im uploading pics.

Made a deal with nisa. will camwhore with her tml! hahas. more pics den yea! (:
ok i think i know why she asked for it. hahas!

Have GG tml. Mcm malas nak dtg eh. I hvnt even do anything for it sehh. hahas. Will look fwd to hanging out with Ain. SOooo not looking fwd for the teachers. :P

pics. ppl. fun. smiles. laughter. and more laughter.

This is totally random. I jus thought of it n wanted to write it down.

which also equals to my lil bro on the floor screaming while immitating dewy's (frm malcom in e middle) running arnd in circles! (:

Jus another day in e week. Relatively ok. Esp cos yest ending to my day jus totally summed up my day with a cherry on top! (:

Wanted to sleep early yest. Then jus wen i was abt to slp he called me. Poor thing. He had to stay over at camp jus to finish up his work. He was alone so he called me up. Really miss him. Jus glad i got to talk with him yest even if we did pass midnite. hehe. Gona meet him tml. (i hope anyways! as long as he doesnt zZZ agn. hahas). Ok so now Niki, Que and Huda knows most abt him. hahas. (:

Ok morn, had GM lect. Short. Very short. Good. hahas. didnt fall aslp. Den break. Aft that had Mol Bio. Seriously draggy lah for prac. Like so boring cause waiting time for the settling of the gel thing was like taking forever and ppl arguing here and there. grr.
By the time we got to LSP, we had missing ppl hu skipped class. hahas. Too bad leh. LSP was actually fun. In a sense that we didnt do much bsides playing with eye wash, blood and fire. hahas. was fun actually. Cos when my grp was at the fire area, we made Ms Aw draw a smiley face then set fire to it. hahas. cool lah. thanks to RAY!

After class, hung out with Niki, Hanizah and Loges for a bit while waiting for Hanizah's bf to pick her up. (i swear niki jus has sooo many friends in sch! hahas). So then me, Niki and Loges was like crammed to the back of the bus with all e guys talking abt girls and me and niki made puking faces and rolled our eyes and such. hahas. was fun. honestly, in terms of being a "girl", me n Niki are sooo the opp. hahas.

So not in da mood to go back to school tml. im like freakin tired lah. den tml is only LM, GM and LSP. im coming for the sake of GM prac. If not, maybe i'd b thinking twice abt skipping class. hahas.

Oh thanks to the result of the cptn's ball game yest, i woke up with my left eye being swollen. hahas. still hurt a lil. With an addition of a bad headache and a fluctuating temp. sighs. still aching. but wad e heck. hahas.

*thanks for making my day darling!*
*looking fwd to be with u agn... (: <3

*OMG QUE POSTED THE PIC! wth! hahas! She actully posted it! OMG!*

Its another moday. Was suppose to meet someone yest. N yea he slept through the time. (da agak nye). hahas. oh wells. I was tired too yest so yea. good thing also lah. If not i swear mesti tak bangun nye nari. hahas

Ok. I woke up. With a fever. Which im so not suprised about. (:
Breakfast with mum and dad.

By the time i reached my lecture. The first person to greet me was Ghazali ( ok so sorry if ur name is spelt wrongly! hahas). He immediately took over my new hp. Den huda came. Accompanied her for breakfast. So i left my dear hp in the hands of Ghazali. By the time we gt back, i gt my hp back. n he told me he took a pic n left it in e hp. He must have been that bored. hahas. Den me and huda went through his hp. Saw this pic of him. The one huda dubbed "topman advet". lol. Den Ghazali rummaged through my hp pics. He saw my prom pic. Wth! and he was like "nice pe". eww. i dread that memory. hahas.
Yea den he saw my mp4 and was hooked to transformers. hahas.

After the two draggy lectures, i finally fixed my card. activated only on thur. grr. lmbt seyy.
den we all hung outside the lab before prac (2hrs sia!). Passed Que the pics and all. Den she saw my prom pic. Den she showed everyone else. hahas. den she took it from me. n im begging her now not to post that pic on her blogg. hahas. (:

Ac prac. So much for a fast prac. It was draggy. I was bored. We had 6 pages of qns. Had a long talk with Farhan. Went through the new instrument. Den waited for the bus like for ages under e shelter. Rained heavily. Giler sak. By e time i gt back almost 6pm. Sheesh. Ngantok rabak...

Pity Has. Gota work till late. N start early. Yet he still wants to go out and all. hMmMx...
*yes dear i miss u... <3*>

I made this pact with most of my friends.
*U cut, i cut. U kill, i kill. U jump i jump. N if u die, i'd die too.
I mean it. every word of it. (:

I told myself that i'd made my final decision on my bdae. U now wad, screw that thought. After wad happened today, i'll say i made my final decision today. But only on my bdae will i reveal it to him. My last goodbye to you. The day i turn 18. Thanks for the bittersweet memories. This last one is one you will never forget. (i know i'll b breaking my promise but who care! i know u dont. neither do i!) (:

Ok so i found out many ppl gt e same hp as me. Which is cool actually. Lets hope the ones with the same colours dun get mixed up! hahas.

BRO I WANT U HOME! SO I CAN GO OUT! GRR!

haha. yea. im one happy lil camper. I gt my new plan today. But i never expected my mum to lemme get this new hp! hahas. yay! Love mum! She topped up $98 i needed for this hp. (:
Yes i finally signed up for my student plan. So ppl using singtel. u can msg me all u wan. hahas. (:

Was a good girl today. Was up early (wasnt planned ok!). Den followed mum and dad go get breakfast (VBI refused to. He just kept on snoozing). Den they lemme sign up for my new plan. yay. den went home. Ofcos dad's happy also ar. he sign up a plan for my aunt. and he gt a new phone. geez.

Met Ash. I swear boy, i dun understand a single thing u taught me for the orienteering! hahas.
*i think i know wads my final decision ok? u'll hear from me soon enough. (:*

den went for tuition. Otw Has called. yes he JUST WOKE UP. like in e aftnn. hahas. kesian. work till late. mite meet him later. (:
That lil kid so restless! gawd! he like dun wana study at all ar. aiyo. but part i let him play games on my new hp, he's like so into the game ar. wth! hahas. kids these days.

Just got back. Sleepy. Wonder where's. he left home leaing my com on. den msg tak reply. wth.

*waiting for him to call.* (: <3

Had archery in e morn. Tiring. Plus my tangan freakin weak still. n it cracked again. geez. wen will it be over all the cracking and such.

Anyways, aft that me, Que and Nisa hung by sch for a bit. Den me and Que hung arnd at TM while waiting for si beylo tu. hahas. Ahh ok dad's gonna sign me up for the starhub student plan. yay! (:

Has was late. Like damn late. Like i almost killed him and didnt talk to him for quite some time late. yea. that late. cos he woke up at 2pm. i was like, WTH! den he can ask sumore. Why u nvr call my hse. n im like.... hello i changed my card? geez.
ok anyways, went to watch a movie with him. uhh. wads it called. oh 3:10 to yuma. Some old cowboy like story. so yea. was umm ok? not to my liking cos too much talk. But when it came by e parts where they started killing ppl, yea u can say i was awake. hahas. (:

I gt back home and all i got was a, "why the hell are u late?" from mum. N i was like, "i told u i was gona go watch a movie and i had sch in e morn and u never told me i had to b home early for god knows what thing!". Yea and the next thing i did, go off to my room, locked myself in n blast my loud music from my mp4. Jus dun want to start a fight with her lah. Jus dun wana repeat the past ok.

My eyes are currently half open. And the bag of gummies and marshmellow i bought from minitoons is like bside me calling to be eaten (VBI stole all e Big marshmellow sey!). grr.
Tml. so malas. need go see Ash den go tuition den study. den mlm to meet Has for my "training in driving". his car ar, omg i'll b freaked out. Cos his car is built for speed. NOT for beginners like me! hahas. Ok so if u ppl see me half aslp on monday in lecture. Faham2 je lah k!

Just cant wait for monday! grr. god knows why. i just want to b away from home.

-+-+- CANT WAIT FOR LAOS TRIP! TRIP AWAY FROM HOME FOR 2 WEEKS! grr. -+-+-

I just got back. Im effin tired. i gt e job. and i dun think i wana take it. hahas. (:

I mean its so not for me ok? we shall leave it as that. Plus i think my time will b fully taken up by school, friends, family and umm someone else. hees.

I still cant bloody believe im taking archery! grr. kul 8 pagi pulak tu! penat sehh. n im already getting my flu back. sheesh. bsk gurantee lagi rabak. gosh.

Ok but still. I'm looking fwd to tml. Cos morning i get to see my friends at archery, den aft that i get to hang out with Has cos he's treating me to a movie. hahas. so its like morning work hard, aftnn chill out. hahas. aint such a bad day. i hope anyways. n i so plan to stay out till late lahs! hahas. cos i wana go clark quey or smth. hahas.

Sunday will b meeting Ash den going for tuition. Grr. So malas. But i need to learn abt orienteering! argh. so much for i can quit GG already. *i only continuing cos of Ain ok! After she ciao i also ciao!*

Then its back to school with a test to look fwd to. Good luck ppl!

Aite. Im gone. Too sleepy. Wana get to e tevee before its raided by my brothers. *VBI even told me i had abandoned the tevve lately. And he called me a betrayer! wth!*

grr.... have a great weekend ya'll! take care now! (:

A short entry before i go get ready.

Ok so i actualy accpeted to go for e interview. And im like freaking out! cos its my first time and im like, wads gona happen. hahas. yea. getting cold feet. e last time i felt like this was before i made e speech to e whole school back in sec sch. hahas. gawd. i feel so sick. shouldnt hv eaten. grr.
Anyways, wish me luck ppl. If i secure e job, yea it'll mean a lot to me. hahas. *damit esp e pay!*
(:

long day tml. hees. Archery in e morn *PPL PLS WAKE UP ON TIME AND SOMEONE PLS GIMME A WAKE UP CALL! hahas* kidding. nisa gt my back for that. right? hees.
den aft archery will b out with Has. Goin to watch a movie @ vivo. yay. hahas. been a while since i went there. will b out till late. (:

Den sunday, tuition. wanted to go for blood donation. but den. kpg chai chee. mcm jauh eh. hahas. so wait for sch one ar... any takers? hees.
*why so many guys scared to give blood ar?*

k i gt 5 mins to go indulge myself in loud music and get ready before i leave. *cold feet cold feet!*
will update more if im not too tired later. till den. take care all! wish me luck! (:

Its thursday and i already have plans for the week ahead. sighs.

Happenings in school::
Has LM in e morn. Which HALP THE PPL DIDNT TURN UP FOR! which was also a torture btw. Ok so i heard the MRT line was stopped den expressway there was a bad jam in e morn cos of car accidents and such. Pity those hu were caught in it. But still. I was e wan in e boring lecture ok? hahas. So in LM it was me, huda and zee. grr.

Den after that my grp. B went to NYP while A went to SP. i shant comment of wad happened. Only this. The "tour guide" who gave his name as angel (god knows if its real), was like so freakin funny. He reminds me of roy plus Jerome in one. hahas. Cos he looked like Jerome den his attitude totally like Roy. hahas. OMG. den he kept blushing. Kelakar giler sak. i just couldnt stop laughing! hahas.

Den went back to school for GM prac. Was ok. ok lah. was BORING until Andy started asking me lame questions which aft i found out the ans i couldnt stop laughing! hahas. For once im glad Andy was around. (:

Ptg. Was supposed tp meet Has. den *note this* AFTER WAITING THAT SOMEONE CANCEL LAST MIN! ok den que and ian was with me. so yea. que was like " tell him he made a bad first impression to me". hahas. yes Que i will tell him that. Thanks for waiting with me anyways!
Oh ya while waiting, i had this call from some company, den they like ask me if i wana work for them as a presenter and all. den they said *REALLY NOTE THIS!* the pay was $500 PER WEEK! i was like at a loss of words! hahas. Interviews tml. Wish me luck ppl! (:

So tml, i hv sch, den go meeting at BG den gt e interview. Saturday i have archery, den going out with Has den maybe meeting Que and Ian. Den sunday going for morning run with VBI (finally he wants to run!) then have tution. Mol Bio Test Next Week. Grr. So many things. *i so need more slp!*

*waiting on u...*

Here's smth i found interesting. A nick my cousin wrote for his msn.
I like how e words go well together and the meaning hits u hard like a "in ur face" kinda comment. :)


U told me we could be lovers.
Then u told me we should be friends.
You told me you have a lover.
i'm telling u this is the end.

At one point i agree. I mean love shouldnt make u go nuts and cut urself and be in pain all e time. So yea. That quote really made me think and helped me make my decision. We shall see how it all turns out soon. (:

Mid week. Just 3rd day of school and its like a freakin torture lah! gawd. Im like as sleepy as ever today. grr.
Morn had GM lect. Was so damn fast. Half an hr to be exact. hahas. Then like at e last slide, there are still ppl strolling in to the LT. hahas.
After that had mol bio prac. More like revision for mol bio. Glad i actually studied during the hols. Cos i could ans e qns! yay! hahas.
Den last gt LSP prac. Went through the bloody revision. Omg. Was so dead boring. I almost fell aslp if it wasnt for our section head standing at the door behind me. hahas.

Ahh. ok. funny happenings today.
Ppl playing silent hill. hahas. so many diff ways of playing seh. One screaming away at the gorely scenes when attacked by zombies. The other turning the head away but at e same time still hitting the button that orders the character to use the weapon. hahas. cute lahs they all. Shak should hv been there!
Then the toilet joke. Ppl hu gt bored holding the door for the other till the question "at which point of peeing are u at?" came out. hahas. We were laughing histerically while heading back to the locker. (:
Fun moments with my bunch of crazy friends. hahas. Memories treasured for sure.

Yea ok so for the first time, i saw dil and dayat at cafe 2. ahh. ok i need to talk to dayat. hahas. he usually is the one i talk to abt uhh THAT guy. hahas. Dil, sorry ar tak layan sangat. U gt that smug look on ur face that reminded me what we went through. I wouldnt mind jus wiping it off for u. Its jus so irritating that i couldnt even say goodbye aft i said it to dayat. It'll take time sweets. (:

I'm still freakin guilty ar cos yest i ended early den didnt mean Has. Was suppose to meet mlm but den rained heavily so tak jadi agn. grr. he sounded upset and i feel bad. Hopefly meet him tmr or smth. *good luck for ur interview dear!* (:

Going to the poly open hse tml. malas. SP or NYP. grr. Hope SP ar. den can meet SAB! her bdae sumore. gosh. hahas. miss e old days with sab, jia hao and chang.

*u drifted away and they tried to take ur place. I don't know how much longer it'll b there for you... last words to come soon... i'm sorry...*

I gt bored. So im back here.
I'm like having trouble signing up for my cca n such seyy. grr.

Bro came home. Passed me this band which he says was from his fiancee. so yea. its purple. First person i thought was Que. hahas. den the words. "Real Love shouldn't hurt". So true. sighs.
oh wells. why do i hv this feeling she gt it from sch. hahas.

anyways. would hv poster the pic. but den, my hp is on standby cos im to call someone wen he msgs. lmbt seh. n im like lazy to call also. i'd probably fall aslp or smth. i can tell u this. In a bit i'll b heading to e kitchen and rumaging for my tuna in olive oil. God knows why i bought dat. hahas.

Ok so for mummy's bdae, ne and VBI ordered cupcakes cos we really are out of ideas. Mum is one person hard to get a gift for. Serious! Hope we can get it. Told bro abt it. and he was like, beli ar. So much for contribution. sheesh.
think smths up with him today. he gt out of his rm and head straight for the xbox360. Which means im stuck wif no tv e whole day. great. brothers. i so hope i get to go for the loas trip! trip away from brothers!

Ok da lame ar. But den i jus gt e pic cos everyone else tak upload. hahas. So yea. Nice rite ppl?
maybe i shld order this for dad's bdae with VBI's next mnth. watcha think? hahas
ok it looks nice. But it taste's nicer! trust me. U can ask the gurls hu tasted it!
Thanks Hannah! :)

First of all.
Thanks to all hu actually reads my blog. hahas. (:

Back to today. Another long day which ended to be even worse! grr.
Had uhh. wait eh. oh ya. ok so i had GM prac in e morn. Bloody heamocytometer. So freakin leceh. Plus Andy being restless. Hu kept buggng everyone hu tried to do the experiment. Ok so i gt him back. Pushed him off his chair! yessa! hahas.

Then had LM. Was making me slp. Short lecture but seriously. Very boring. urgh. so regret going ar. If i know i skip sia. hahas. *trying hard not to skip classes*. hehe.

SW canceled. Thank god. Den had HCMS instead. Im like freaking shocked ar! We ended like soooo freaking early for once ok! like almost 4? omg. den was like thinking wanted to wait for him or not. called him. told him i ended. and he was like so early? ok so he asked me to go home first. and im like sooo guilty now cause he sounded really upset. ahh. ok. i hope i can meet him later or smth. (*where's dad! so much for topping up my ppd for me!*)
i feel sooo guilty lah. Plus Que was suppose to see him also cos she judging for me. hahas. omg. i feel bad! grr. Hope he's not too upset.

ok so yea. im at home. wen i gt back, VBI was playing games with his 2 other friends. Bro was on e laptop cos he lost all e memory from his PDA. hahas. serves him rite! :)
im bored. and i cant watch tv. and aisyah is m.i.a which is very shocking. hmm. hope she's better.
Mum's bdae coming up and i dunoe wad to get for her. hMmMz..... help?

oh. yest. wth. aft update blog. den was watching wild hogs with VBI. Next thing i know i was fast alsp. And i woke up 7am the next morn. Ok so i wouldnt hv woken up if it wasnt for dad banging on my door telling me to wake up. hahas. wth sia. i slept for 12hrs! omg. i hope i dun do dat agn. cos wen i checked my hp, like so many ppl msg em plus i was supposed to call him. shoot. its like im guilty twice seh. den i was suppose to meet ppl online n all. grr. Mus stay awake this time. Must tell VBI to annoy me. hahas.

aite im off. gota find smth to do. hahas. take care ya'll!

*if u want to be with me for me, i wouldn't mine being with u for u. But if u want to be with me not for me. Den just forget about it.*

Just got back. Running a fever and im freakin tired. hahas. I think i had too much caffine for the day plus the onr hr of slp i had in 24hrs. so yea. hahas. a lil dizzy. owh wells.

Its back to school today. Ok so i was out rite aft midnite. Went to TCC wif has. Cos i couldnt slp. and we hadnt met up in a long time so he asked me to go get coffee. so yea. hahas. den we hung out at e beach. that ol place on e rocks where dere were so many ppl arnd. hahas. still rmbr seh the old times dere. :)
ok den before he sent me back home, he gave me a crash course on driving. Basic gears. hahas.

Ok so by e time i gt back home it was like almost uhh 5am?
so yea den an hr later i had to wake up and get ready for school. penat sia. I reach school early lah(no suprise dere) hahas. so yea. den lotsa things happen in sch.

Oh oh i found out dayat is in my sch also! yay! he looks so emo now lah. wth. hahas. honestly he n dil look so out of place in ITE uni. I think they're better in the checkered brown uni of BGSS. Hees.

Bed's calling for me. But its like still too early. grr.

Ok so i gota b nice and acknowledge this.
thank u Has for fetching me from school today even though u were v. late! hehes.

so yea. hahas. ok i m really in dire need of sleep.

Aisyah! Get well soon!
*ur like not online and im like alone n bored. :)*

School starts tml! yay! or umm. damn! or uhh. ok so i dunoe how to react. hahas

I mean i miss school, cause i feel like ive been rotting all this while at home. But im so not prepared to come back to all the boring lectures and such. hahas. grr.

So yea. hahas.
Was out for tuition just now. Draggy. As always. I mean geez. hu wld hv the mood to hv tuition. Even i didnt feel like teaching. hahas. I kinda forced myself. So yea. hahas. grr. At least i managed to finish up a few chapters. hahas. :)
*yes im a study freak now

Got back then went to dinner with family @ T2 Macs. Fun lah once in a while dinner with fam. hahas. esp wen i get to talk to VBI, mum and dad. I mean we dont really talk much. So i really appreciate these precious moments. :)
Sent dinner to bro. 2 double cheeseburger. Den he still can complain seh, takde coke la, takde fries. grr. that greedy pig. hahas. Da la kat stn all the guys mcm stengah mati. knock door also tak dngr. I was laughing at the guy hu was at the monitor. i think he da k.o or smth. hahas.

Ok so im back in good terms with Has. hahas. And he's gonna teach me to drive before i start my lessons! yay! hees. happy.
*wish me luck ppl! if i pass, i can drive u arnd. ok but u mus contribute to the oil fund. hahas

i so need to work out my budget lahs. grr. need save up for license! hahas. plus i wana get contacts. ahhh. so many things. oh n laptop! grrrr!!

ok. im bored. im off. i shall meet my ITE friends tmrw yea! ok n i will see Has in a bit. hahas. TCC! ok u rock man! im so in need of coffee lah! :)

*ppl it starts at 9am tml. B on time ok? hahas.

When u walk off to leave, don't bother saying goodbye...

Boy ur still a kid. Don't mix the word love and like. They are 2 very different words. Don't think a crush equals to love. It never is that way. Only time can tell. So please slow down. Go have a good look around. U'll find someone that really for u. SOmeway, SOmehow. Don't just stop and stare. Take a good look everywhre. There was nothing between us. Ok? Jus accept it and move on... :)

****** ****** ****** ******

i used to call u dear. i used to call u sayang. i used to call u my one and only. I used to call u my everything. But that was just a used to. This distance between us doesnt make out hearts grow fonder. Its makes us drift further apart. Why drag it on? Why bother leaving me to hold on? If ur intention was for me to say its over, why don't say it. Den we can lie to everyone else and say i wanted it. Is that what u want?
I used to be hurt. I used to cry over u. But now, there's no more tears left for u. I know, i still miss you. But i cannot say anymore, that i still love u. there. i admit it. u made us drift too far apart. I just don't feel it anymore. If there was a way, for us to reconcile, i would have given it a chance. But u, u jus disappeared. And walked away. So pls. Don't bother saying goodbye. I've said it for you. All i asked for is one last meet. SO we can clear it all out. The truth. The lies. And what really happened. That was all. And u still have to drag it on. I thought u were better than that. I thought u called urseld a man. I'm not suprised to say this, but ur still jus another immature kid in my eyes. u will always be. till u prove it one day... i'm sorry...
maybe its just time... when i turn 18. u gt till den... i'll b waiting my dear. one last time. :)

The unexpected study outing...

Ok so morn, i was woken up by Que's msg. haha. she ask if i can go study with her. Thought didnt want to go out today. But study. So. What the heck. Met her at downtown to go study. Ok so we DID study ok! :)
Then got home like uhh. almost 7pm. den went down again to study with aisyah. hahas., ok im a study freak now. dunnoe why sia. i jus wana get everything over and done with. esp now. when he's nt arnd. hahas. so fun leh. get to spend more time wid friends and family. yessa. hahas

tml. tuition. den study summore. sucks. hahas. school's starting! yay! hahas. back to the hectic schedual and more study. at least i hv smth to do kan. hahas. no more rotting! +)

after all that happened between me and him recently, all i can think of is study, family and friends. hahas. n mum like more nice now lah. she let me out till late. den tak marah. mcm cool ar. everything changed aft our fite. so thanks ash! u made my life a whole lot better! :)
*p.s: maybe u can kp this up till my finals da over k? hehe*

lalala. ok so yea. maybe there's better things for me in future. eg: A REAL FUTURE!
hahas. so yea. aiming for poly. grr. leceh seh. mus study my ass off. grr.

to all,
thanks for everything guys. hope u all have a great year ahead. good luck in life okies?
and jus cos someone bring u down, doesnt mean u cant stand tall once more. :)
Never give up. Never lose hope. Never say u'll forever fail. or i'll probably come and murder u or smth. hahas.

Home early. Phew. hahas. *Aisyah where are u?!*
ok so yea i made my card. cepat seh. so happy. hahas. THANKS MARISA!! :)
den met the rest. den went to Zee's hse. She balik lmbt. so we waited. and waited. and waited. (and im so dead nezt wk cos i nvr turn up for GG!)
yea. so then uhh, like yea. we hid in her room ar. wen she came back. den suprise her in her room. hahas. was cool ar. the look on her face was sooooo priceless. hahas.
den she potong cake. Den we managed to try the cupcake. hahas. im sooo gona buy again ar! hahas. den like yea. we went home. so yea. Squirt's going to camp on 23rd at serimbun. me n bro scared the wits out of him with our camp stories from there. lols. fun ar.
den like now, im on e com. cos im like bored. and like aisyah is god knows where. hahas. tml. ahh. nak klua. but den. malas. entah ar. nak lari ar. hahas. so yea.

mum was telling me abt her boss being paranoid cos she was a biochem degree holder once. hahas. den she say im like dat also soon. i was like oh really? hahas.
cos the only reason i wld wana b like dat is to scare dad so he wun take too many medication of diff kinds. it worked so far. i even manage to get him on a diet. yay! hahas.
*bye bye daddy's mountain of a tummy!*

im sleepy. and all i can think of is study. wtf? im like hating it lahs.

im off. im jus too bored lah now. oh oh. VBI getting his busary tml. is sooo expected ar of e lil nerd. geez. he looks nerdier in long pants. lol. :)

Updating early cause i'm having a full on day today so mite b too lazy later. hahas.

Ahh. yest only went out like evening. Met Aisyah, den go tamp meet Nisa. Den after the venture arnd tamp we go get the cupcake. Den we went to Bedok. Take pic, chnage money, den uhh. go see her shoe, den go eat, den get my redbull, den finally home. hahas. penat seh. dunnoe how many days already i've been out and got back late.

I feel guilty though. Cause mum never said anything. So yea. sucks lah. But i made it up to her. Wen i get back every night i'd somehow be awake so i'll start doing my notes. On AC now. something is seriously wrong with me here. yea. oh wells, wth.

Ahh. Going meet Marisa ltr go make my card, den pass the stuff to the gang. After that gota get mu butt back to BG. grr. Den if gt time i head back to pasir ris for zee party thing. haix.
Tml. Entah eh. Maybe go out wif aisyah. hahas. dunnoe. den this mnth, mus find time go out with syikin den haslam. ahh. so much things to do and all i can think abt is next mnth i SO NEED MY LICENSE! so i can use the car. grrrrr.

Ngantok sia. wth. ok im to go out soon. If i fall aslp, marisa will kill me. hahas. =)

I'm sick and tired of being pushed around
I'm sick and tired of falling down
I'm sick and tired of giving in
I'm sick and tired of all your lies
I'm sick and tired of all the pathetic cries
I'm sick and tired of always being the one
Who has to make other happy 24/7
I'm sick and tired of all u ppl
Who claim that I'm your friend
When in truth, I am a friend to you
Only cause u wana make use of me
I'm sick and tired of being down
Hoping things will turn around.
i'm sick and tired of the old me
Its abt time i changed back to who i really was before.
* i swear many ppl wun like it



*Be with me cause i want me for me. Don't bother if u want me for something else. If that is all u want. Just walk away and don't look back. I'll b gone before u even know it*~Just say goodbye

Freakin tired lah. Dunno how many days seh i've been out till so late den aft that sleep bloody late den wake up so freaking early. Worse, i've been studying. WTH!

yest uhh. gi mane sih..
oh yea. yest went out with fam and kak yanti. go eat. den go popular. bloody wrong timing lah. wth! it was the nite before school reopen. the place was damn packed. den the lines are like freakin long! and i was like 10 mins in the line before paying! grr. setakat beli 5 things seh. den go home. den mit aisyah. redbull and cookies. hahas. first time we met up and skejap je seh. hahas. we were making fun of more songs on the radio. hahas.

TOday, was out to watch AVP2 with dil. was ok. i still prefer AVP. and for sure gt AVP3 lah. haha. humans Vs predator. lols. ok den ptg went to woodlands to meet aisyah, den like we go all e way to airport take brochure. hahas fun. den at viewing gallery. den home. was suppose to b back by 10.30pm ar. den late. den dad da tido. den mum tak marah. i feel guilty. n all i can think of is updating and den studying den sleeping. wtf sia?

its been a weird week and its already like thursday. den like fri gt plan. tml gt plan. den nezt wk da start skola. den labcoat lum cuci. stress sia! i wan my bday come faster. cos i wan my license! daddy i wan the family car! hahas. so i can wak up late and drive to skul. yea! sponsors? hehes.

grr. tired. need drink. im out.