Posted on: Friday, February 22, 2008
Posted at: 7:29 PM
Posted at: 7:29 PM
I keep telling ppl. I never looked fwd to my 18th birthday. Any birthdays at all in fact. And seriously i mean it.
Like today. My 18th birthday. More like a day of disaster. Everything's just so fucked up. I'm not at all in the mood to celebrate nor talk abt it.
Ppl backed outon me. Its ok. I'm sick. Its ok. That one very impt person to me couldnt make it todat. Its ok. Mum's sick. That totally not ok. I don't want to lose her. I'm not ready to not be with her anymore. It only hurts more to think of it. Fck it.
Never thought on this day that i'd start it all over again. The crying. and more. fck.
Before dad left for work, he said to be hm early. he's gonna buy that cake. Then he turned. He said, take care of everyone. N i love you. All i could do. was just tear up. cos i know wad he meant. I hate it. Really.
All i wanted was for mum to get better. But it doesnt seem to be going that direction. I know how it feels. To lose hope when ur sick. And the doc cant b sure wad sickness you got. Then all you can think of is preparing for the time He will take you away. I can tell. Cos i've been there before. Honestly. i never lost anyone very close to me before. and i dont want to either. life just gets trickier each day....
*i don't blame you. For not making it today. I know ur family needs you more. Thanks for tellind me at least. i'm sorry. If i sound real upset. Cos i am. Cos on this day. esp now when i need you the most, i cant hv u arnd. just take care. hope ur aunt gets better. i'll see you soon. i hope*
Like today. My 18th birthday. More like a day of disaster. Everything's just so fucked up. I'm not at all in the mood to celebrate nor talk abt it.
Ppl backed outon me. Its ok. I'm sick. Its ok. That one very impt person to me couldnt make it todat. Its ok. Mum's sick. That totally not ok. I don't want to lose her. I'm not ready to not be with her anymore. It only hurts more to think of it. Fck it.
Never thought on this day that i'd start it all over again. The crying. and more. fck.
Before dad left for work, he said to be hm early. he's gonna buy that cake. Then he turned. He said, take care of everyone. N i love you. All i could do. was just tear up. cos i know wad he meant. I hate it. Really.
All i wanted was for mum to get better. But it doesnt seem to be going that direction. I know how it feels. To lose hope when ur sick. And the doc cant b sure wad sickness you got. Then all you can think of is preparing for the time He will take you away. I can tell. Cos i've been there before. Honestly. i never lost anyone very close to me before. and i dont want to either. life just gets trickier each day....
-My 18th Birthday. Just Marks Another New Year Of Upcoming Disasters-
The signs are clear. I know. I'm just not prepared.
*i don't blame you. For not making it today. I know ur family needs you more. Thanks for tellind me at least. i'm sorry. If i sound real upset. Cos i am. Cos on this day. esp now when i need you the most, i cant hv u arnd. just take care. hope ur aunt gets better. i'll see you soon. i hope*
+I ask not for pity. I ask not for assistance. All i ask for. Is to be left alone. No questions asked+
+Thank You+