Posted on: Sunday, February 17, 2008
Posted at: 6:20 AM
Posted at: 6:20 AM
I'm not boasting abt this but really. Now there's like soo many ppl hu ask me this question.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Yea i know i kept saying I dunno. But now, i think i know the ans. (:
no its nt smth materialistic. and its not over the top.
All i want for my brithday this year is....
To not have to spend it with my older bro and his fiancee.
seriously. i'd really appreciate it if he wasnt around to spoil my 18th birthday for me.
and no i'm not gonna regret this.
He pushed me too far. And i hate him for that. I'm sorry but thats all i ask for on my birthday. Cause to see you, means hell to me. Cant wait for you to get married and go move out. Cos as of now, im only pretending that i have this person called "big brother" in my life.
yesterday. it was the final straw. ur words. to you it meant victory. to me u totally backfired urself.
i was at e damn course yesterday ok. and all u can do when i got home is start to nag. you say i'm never around for mum when she's sick. you say i never take care fo her. you said infront for riza that i'm useless. you said i was nth but a waste of my parents time. you said things i can never mention here. but wadever u said yest. it still replys over and over again in my mind. hope ur happy. cos u officially lost a sister. your only damn sister. for good.
You've looked down on me all my life. You've hated me when i achieved smth. You pull my hopes down in life. You made me end up in where i am now. You sabotaged me in any way you can. All this i will never forget.
Bro wake up will you. If i dont love the family, why the hell did i go home everyday?
If i never cared about mum, then why was i the only one of her three children who skipped a whoel day of school just to be with her to the hospital?
If i'm useless, then why am i the one hu u always ask to help u out with things?
If i'm such a burden to the family, why am i not the one who always ask for money when i'm still schooling and not having a stable income?
If i don't care about you, why did i even help you out all these years in the littlest ways i can liek judging your damn 9 gfs throughout your life?!
If you hate me achieving anything in life, why dont you be a man and say it in my face?
If you never wanted me as a sister why didnt you just say in 18 years ago?
Lemme ask you this.
Where were you when mum was sick?
All u did was paly games and complain abt food. Mum said it herself!
Where were you when ur siblings needed the help and advice from an older brother they used to look up to?
Busy with his gf and only going home to scold ppl cos he just had a fight.
Where were you when i needed your help to get into poly?
At home being pissed cos instead fo going out with ur gf u had to b stuck at home complaining abt me not getting gd grades.
Where were you when i cut myself up so bad and OD on pilss till i almost landed in the hosp?
All you did was ignore and not help even when u knew i did all that.
Where were you when i needed my one and only older brother?
Never around.
You've never been there for me or riza. the only one who could comfort riza was me cos he were never anrd to see him cry. when i needed your help, you were to bz with ur life to even take a sec to help out. when mum and dad fought, all u did was lock urself up in your room and mind ur own business.
After 17 years and17 days, i give up bro. I cant take it anymore. You keep on pounding me to the ground. You take all my hopes and crush them like a tin can and jus throw it in the bin. You treat me as though im worthless. you treat me like a nobody. you say things abt me that i learnt from you. u never realize that i followed ur footsteps. you never once acknowledge my achievements. you only looked down on me all this time.
Last words from me to you.
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry if i don't turn up for your wedding. Cos i don't plan to.
p.s: the reason why she's involved. Was cause of that one faithful day. that would determine if i could retake my O's or not. It was cause of what she said, mum and dad never gave me a chance to try and retake my O's. I've always resent her for that. I always will. Cause i have yet to find it in my heart to forgive her. Let alone forgive you.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
Yea i know i kept saying I dunno. But now, i think i know the ans. (:
no its nt smth materialistic. and its not over the top.
All i want for my brithday this year is....
To not have to spend it with my older bro and his fiancee.
seriously. i'd really appreciate it if he wasnt around to spoil my 18th birthday for me.
and no i'm not gonna regret this.
He pushed me too far. And i hate him for that. I'm sorry but thats all i ask for on my birthday. Cause to see you, means hell to me. Cant wait for you to get married and go move out. Cos as of now, im only pretending that i have this person called "big brother" in my life.
yesterday. it was the final straw. ur words. to you it meant victory. to me u totally backfired urself.
i was at e damn course yesterday ok. and all u can do when i got home is start to nag. you say i'm never around for mum when she's sick. you say i never take care fo her. you said infront for riza that i'm useless. you said i was nth but a waste of my parents time. you said things i can never mention here. but wadever u said yest. it still replys over and over again in my mind. hope ur happy. cos u officially lost a sister. your only damn sister. for good.
You've looked down on me all my life. You've hated me when i achieved smth. You pull my hopes down in life. You made me end up in where i am now. You sabotaged me in any way you can. All this i will never forget.
Bro wake up will you. If i dont love the family, why the hell did i go home everyday?
If i never cared about mum, then why was i the only one of her three children who skipped a whoel day of school just to be with her to the hospital?
If i'm useless, then why am i the one hu u always ask to help u out with things?
If i'm such a burden to the family, why am i not the one who always ask for money when i'm still schooling and not having a stable income?
If i don't care about you, why did i even help you out all these years in the littlest ways i can liek judging your damn 9 gfs throughout your life?!
If you hate me achieving anything in life, why dont you be a man and say it in my face?
If you never wanted me as a sister why didnt you just say in 18 years ago?
Lemme ask you this.
Where were you when mum was sick?
All u did was paly games and complain abt food. Mum said it herself!
Where were you when ur siblings needed the help and advice from an older brother they used to look up to?
Busy with his gf and only going home to scold ppl cos he just had a fight.
Where were you when i needed your help to get into poly?
At home being pissed cos instead fo going out with ur gf u had to b stuck at home complaining abt me not getting gd grades.
Where were you when i cut myself up so bad and OD on pilss till i almost landed in the hosp?
All you did was ignore and not help even when u knew i did all that.
Where were you when i needed my one and only older brother?
Never around.
You've never been there for me or riza. the only one who could comfort riza was me cos he were never anrd to see him cry. when i needed your help, you were to bz with ur life to even take a sec to help out. when mum and dad fought, all u did was lock urself up in your room and mind ur own business.
After 17 years and17 days, i give up bro. I cant take it anymore. You keep on pounding me to the ground. You take all my hopes and crush them like a tin can and jus throw it in the bin. You treat me as though im worthless. you treat me like a nobody. you say things abt me that i learnt from you. u never realize that i followed ur footsteps. you never once acknowledge my achievements. you only looked down on me all this time.
Last words from me to you.
FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry if i don't turn up for your wedding. Cos i don't plan to.
p.s: the reason why she's involved. Was cause of that one faithful day. that would determine if i could retake my O's or not. It was cause of what she said, mum and dad never gave me a chance to try and retake my O's. I've always resent her for that. I always will. Cause i have yet to find it in my heart to forgive her. Let alone forgive you.