...and so this lazy girl is finally dragging her butt down back to that place where she left 2 years ago for a (in a way) better place.
The End.

Sighs.
I can call this the "SIGHING entry".
Sighs.

Gona go back to that place.
That school.
That urgh.
All to help a friend.
Its ok.
What goes around come around. Right?
Sigh.

*However if i see HER don't expect me to be effing happy.*
-i dun wish to bear a grudge. but still.
sigh.

these undeniable problems from high school.
damn.
sigh.

seriously need to catch up on some shut eye.
Wayyyyy more than 50 winks.
yes.

Today was like one of those extremely draggy day.
Where what you planned wasn't what happened.
Something like that.

Had AC lect in the morn.
Ended early.
Then GEP participants was to stay back.
I swear the moment i heard that i cursed under my breath.
Cos i urgently needed the toilet.
Urgh.
Interview's next week.
Wish me luck!

Then MLP.
Was almost snoozing sia.
Halfway through lesson went to pass jo n zul them cream puff.
Think when i went back in,
i was prepared to snooze part 2.
Meow was lucky she came late.

Aft all that.
Went to science center for the "practical lesson".
Nothing too interesting there.
yea.

Nth much happened today lah basically.
yea.
I'm just really really really exhausted.

*In this very weird odd emo-istic phase where i feel all emo but i know i ain't one. i think so anyways. there's smth. i just can't put my finger on it. I just want to be alone. Without knowing that i have done that all this time. What the fck?

I am bloody _______.
(fill it in yourself yea)

anyways.
as always.
what i planned to happen after sch hours.
didn't happen the way i planned.
but i shan't reveal much.
due to privacy of others.
yea.

on a day i was given a chance to wake up late.
i woke up too early.
cos i "sacrificed" sleep for my new batch of crytals.
which i'm still disappointed at.
nonetheless, we shall work harder on it!

den bct lect.
was practically half aslp.
could barely stay awake.
yea.
zzzzzz flying through my head.
tsk.
shows how much of slp i'm lacking.

aft sch,
was wif fye.
all the way.
white sands to TM.
hahas.
its been fun hangin out with her.
yea. (:

now home.
struggling to keep my eyes open.
hope night falls soon.
cos i wana slp!
yea.

but then.
i wana bake.
smth.
i think?
i dunoe.
mummy!

*ngah mendak ni...

sometimes things just don't go the way you planned it to. it messes you up. bring out the crap in you. but in the end. it makes you a wayyyyy better person than before. in one word. that's 'Life'.

wtf?

"We make choices", so said someone to me.

no no no.
I've tweaked it a bit.

"I make my OWN choices", so said SD.

yes.
this i will fully agree on.
Cos when i'll need help.
I'll be sure to ask ok?
Seriously.
I mean it.

---------------


Did AC prac assignment.
What a relief.
Think i managed it ace it?
I hope at least.

Had BCT after that.
Kinda slack.
Ended early.
Did the new crytal buffer.
99.99999999....%
Hope it'd turn out ok.
yea.

On to SB with neko and fish.
Free drinks thanks to hudz.
went back late.
slept 3/4 of the journey home.

Wasn't in the mood for anything at all today.
All i wanted was to hv a piece of mind.
Not to the "i wana be alone and emo" stage.
More to the "i wish i'd some mind space to myself thanks".
Its just one of those days.
I guess?
sighs.

"i see people cry and talk about their problems each and everyday. yet all i can do for mine is numb it out and pretend nothing's wrong. I don't want to mess things up again. I just want to move on. Im shattering up inside. Yet i don't feel the pain. Not long now. Its all gona burst and leak out. Just wait and see."

*im seriously wondering what the hell has gotten into me. I know smth's wrong. but what? all i feel now is so not me.

You know that slogan for mac.
The I'm lovin' it.
I've got one too.
For durians.
I'm hatin' it!
Yea!

Its been abt 3 weeks,
And for 3 bloody weeks dad's been buying em durians.
From i like it.
To i'm SICK AND TIRED OF IT!
aint there no other fruits in this world?!
sheesh.

Saw this short article on google.
they claim there ain't enough babies born here.
gee.
"i wonder why?" (sarcastically speaking)
*think abt it. look at urslef. ask urself y?*
The answer's like those IN YOUR FACE! kind lah.
hmm.
*n im going why the hell im talking bout this?*

Can i finally say i hate blogging?
Nah. Guess not.
Cos here's where i let it all out.
Ok so almost everything.
Plus here's where ppl can read those stuff u wana tell em but u dun dare tell em in person.
That kinda thing?
*confused yet? i almost am. haa.

Anyways,
i wana skip the whole shit abt last week(end)
Yea.
All i wana say is.
We made it LMC!
(:

**LMC: Last minute crew!
***Matt, Pat, Me, Prema, Jiying, Zul, Zee, Maurice, D.

I was soooo damn exhausted i couldnt even make it for lect this morn.
Dragged myself to sch today only cos of MLP phase test.
Yea.
Tmrw's AC. N Its on GC.
*all u hu dun take science/my course probably going WTF? hahas
Once its over and done with.
I'll be one damn relieved girl.
haa.

I swear i'm still sleepy!
Sighs.

This moment.

This point of life.

We're all going through shit.

Just hang in there.

We'll make it.




Rite?




*i'm screwed. =X

I think i should have just.

Stayed Home.

Be Good.

And none of all that shit would have happened.

*fcking wrong time to fcking piss me off.*

I think even the work tired can't sum up how i feel right now.
But i suppose it's worth it.
i think?
hehe.

WE FINALLY FINISHED THE DANCE STEPS!
YEA!
LMC!
hahas
we live up to our name baby!
hahas
XD

Think i bruised myself up a lot already.
gosh.
owh wells. its worth it.

I am soooooooo lazy to go science centre later!
Its like i'll soooo be sleeping lah can!
Still considering abt the toning thing though.
But then.
Wahh i dunoe lah!
hhas.

OK im just tooo tired.
Yea.
so yea.
hahas.

*p.S: JIbby! you left ur towel in the IC rm! Sengaje ke pe?
lol.

I got back late.
Drenched.
Got away with it.
Yet i feel damn bad.
hmm.
(padahal2, i was in sch all the way ok! wonder y i feel bad then. hmm)

Yea.
Morning.
Didnt go for AC lect.
Cos i was sooooo not up for it.
Met Jo instead.

Then went for the GEP talk.
Then MLP lect. (kill me kill me kill me)
Then BCT phase test.
Was ok.
So i think.
hmm.

Then slacked all the way at IC room.
(aft helping out for the choc sales ofcos. yea)
Got addicted to a game Jibby intro-ed to me.
(ur name there k! haha)
Yea. he turned up at IC room.
BUT once again he forgot all abt his beloved bottle.
lol.

Had dance prac later on.
Till late.
But we did it.
Yea
My legs are aching like mad.
Yea.
hahas.
K ar.
Tired. Ciao ppl!
take care
(:

SD!

Freaking looong day man!
Didn't even attend a single lecture.
So yea.
hahas.
(:

Morning went for the healthy lifestyle thing.
(are u sure its on healthy lifestyle? i was more into the blading! lol)
Then went for choc sales all the way man!
Yea.
Thanks to all who bought.
We raised quite a lot.
(so i think?)
hehe.
Yea.

Went for dance prac.
Yea.
Kinda got high cause i was too bored?
heh.
Umm.
Being honest to u ppl.
Jumpstyle ain't my thing.
I just happen to catch it from god knows where!
(toiled jumpstylers. yea. hahas)
*I do the most random things w/o knowing. hmm
anyways, pics from the past few days.

Looooong day paid off.
I think.
hahas.

Sch.
BCT lect.
CSV.
Now this gt interesting.
We drew this pic below to show a compliant customer.
(if i aint wrong la. hee)



Then we had MLP.
My turn to be pricked.
And hell yea they really made use of me.
hahas.
pricked 3 times man! yea!
(if only they did one more to balance my fingers out. hee)



Smth's a bit wrong with me.
When it comes to blood drawing.
hahas.
cos when i was first pricked.
Looked like i wasn't pricked.
Cos there was no mark n NO blood.
hahas.
not till i started massaging my finger. yea.
yea.
hahas.
not surprised though.
happens alot. yea. hahas

Hectic week.
And it ain't stopping here.
Sighs.

Today.
Very short day.
Out in morn.
Teach tuition.
Then had "family day out"
(yea u can obviously see how much i hate it)

Went to Velocity.
Got VBI's lego and bag.
Den to T2.
Fish and Co.
yea.

I swear to god 3/4 of the time i barely heard what they were rambling abt.
Cos all i did was plug in my in-ears and Myob all the way!
yea.

I'm home.
Full as ever.
(not from food. but from water. i indulged in the sea monkey freeze all by myself. yea)
Chatting with Jo.
Getting high on new sounds/music/bands.
hahas.

Another hectic week to come.
Dance practices.
NDP training.
School.
Sianz.

*I wana run away from it all!*

hmmmm....
:(

Healthy Living Starts Here.

In The Comfort Of Your Own Home.


Cheyy. Macam faham je eh.
haha.

Anyways.
the reason i'm saying this.
Is cos of mum.
Who recently bought TONS of fruits.
And pasta.
hahas.

Yea.
Boxes of strawberries.
Boxes of plums.
One box of cherries.
Loads of durians. (dad ofcos)

Pasta pasta pasta.
I can survive.
hahas.
Cous cous.
yea!

Ok moving on.
SLacked the whole day today.
Sent VBI to the arts house.
Online the rest of the day.

Gona be out whole day tmrw though.
Not shocking too.
hahas.
Tuition.
Out to buy VBI's lego and my shoes.
(like finally!)
then dinner.
Which amazingly was planned by bro!
wow!
(for sure he just gt $$)
lol.

yea. ok so i sent msgs out to some friends.
and the reply i gt was priceless.
hehe.
wawa noes.
so yea.
;)

Early update before i forget anything. hahas.

Ended the earliest timing today.
Like 9.30am.
and we escaped fire drill!
wooohooo!

Came back sch in the aftnn for the so called briefing.
Turns out to be another story.
yea.
owh wells.
i've sorted thing out.
yea.
hahas.

After that,
we girls (me, suzi, zee, wawa-chan and ji ying)
had some "girl talk".
hahas.
we were sharing facts abt our cca.
abt stuff.
yea.
hahas

Slacked till late.
Went back with zee n jiying.
yea.
nth much happened.
But time spent with my beloved girls was priceless.
yea.
*u girls rock!*
yea.
hahas.

i'm tired.
Sick and tired.
No not from school.
But from these things on my mind.
Wish there was away to erase all these thoughts.
To wash away all those uncertainties running around up there.
Make space for clear, calm, sense-ful thinking.
Shut out all that noise.
And be me again.
Where have i gone to?

To a dear friend.

You know we're all behind u.
supporting you.
Pls dun give up easily.
we'll all make it through it.
together.
as a team yea.
no matter how diff we may be now.
but secrets reamain kept.
memories treasured.
friendship will nvr change.
take care aite!

This Post Is Dedicated To Neko!

yea.
hahas.

Ok so during the floorball game.
We were like free-lance supporters.
Meaning we support EVERY and ANY team playing.
Regardless of sch or course.
But when it come to AHS!
sorry eh AHS all the way babeh!
win or lose!
hehe.

Anyways,
while watching the game.
Me and neko were scouting at the guys who played.
And this one lucky guy.
Managed to catch Neko's attn.
Which to me is smth for him to be thankful for.
Cos trust me to get this girl's attn is quite hard.
c'mon lets face it.
he's like the only guy out of 7000 students tat caught her attn!
Yea.

So at one pt.
His team was playing.
He was standing near where we were sitting.
Neko softly said.
"Hey handsome"
and he turned!
lol.
And throughout the game.
He was like soooooo happy!
and skipping arnd.
lol.
im shocked.
neko's high.
wonder how the guy is reacting now.
lol.

so now im on a "mission"
to look out for that guy for dear neko.
hahas.
so yea.
watch out guy hu caught neko's attn!
hahhahas.

As for me.
yea.
i've set myself fixed to one.
(yea neko u know hu! hahahas. shh)
hehe.
yea.
(:

Eventful Day?
yea guess so.
cos first of all.
Its Duckie and Loges's Birthday!
so...

HAPPY 18th & 19th (respectively)

BIRTHDAY

LOGES & HUDA!

yea.
i saved ur arses from the bashing today.
Doesn't mean its over.
heheheh.
*puts on agel-ic face*
yea!

Moving on.
Morning lect.
Neko came!
But Hani was m.i.a.
*baik ar korang eh. smlm opp. tsk. da plan eh? hehe*
yea.
ac. mlp.
*faints*
Got bored.
So i started taking ppl's landyards.
*or atleast from those who willingly gave. hee*
yea.
I got 4.
Wow can never be caught EVER for not wearing landyard!
wahahaha.
*ITE CE ppl wld understand!*

Yea. Rite before i did this.
Our dear section head came in.
I almost get caught for wearing jeans.
But yea.
Being the girl hu looks "oh-so-innocent"
*pukes*
i got away with it!
lol.

Yea yea.
Den choc sales.
Not too bad.
Then prac.
After prac.
Helped Zul's vid team.
Had to do this weird handshake thing with Zi Z.
hahas. he made the stupidest faces!
i couldnt help but laugh.
yea.
lol.

After all that.
Went to check out the 2nd round of floorball matches.
This time there were girls team.
Yea!
Ok i went down cos i promised the CPT boys.
Plus another grp of friends wanted supporters.
So yea.
haha.
Went with my dear NEKO!
yea
Fun leh.
We were making like so many jokes.
And slumberly making comments. wahahaha.
i love today..

here's some.

there was this team.
called.
'ANYTHING TEAM'.
so we made a game.

say 'ANYTHING TEAM'

5 times REAL FAST!

haha.

Then.
I made this up.
You know those panels that made up the floorball court.
With the adverts.
It looked soooo empty!
so i said to neko.
Let's make one.
and this was what we gt.

"WE DON'T SPONSOR.

WE SUPPORT!

For booking purposes pls call _________.

*terms and conditions apply*"

lol.
yea.
fun ar.
(:

What a day.
Couldnt stop laughing!
hahahaha!

Wednesday.
Yea.
Start late.
Thus i woke up sorta late.
yea.
hahas.

Morn.
Met Hudz at Bedok.
Sch.
Lect. BCT.
Ain't too bad.

Next!

SW.
OMG! WTF!
yea.
now today was wat i call REAL SW!
hahas.
Warm up. Ran 3 rounds. Stairs 5 times. Shuttle Run 5 times. Jogged. Walked the 2.4 route.
Damn shagged. Yea.
hahas.

After all that.

Had env club meeting.
Another Tee design to think of. hmm.
Green shirt.
*typical env club. haha*

Moving on.

Met Wahidah.
Went to 'support' the EIT team for floorball comp.
BUT.
Met CPT team.
Support them too lah!
GO AHS! lol
Made new friends.
Su, Rizwan and gang.
lol.

FINALLY!

Home.
Tired.
Uploading pics.
Choc sales tml.
*PPL PLS BUY K! hehe*
BOD meeting aft that.
Support CPT team agn tml.
*i think ar*
yea.

T to the I to the R to the E to the D!
yea!

Guilt Ridden Rejector

I feel bad.
To have to reject so many.
Not one but many.
Not boasting.
Just stating the fact.
Sighs.

I don't feel good bout it ok.
Please know this.
I feel really really bad.
But i rather suffer now.
Then live a whole other lie.
For the rest of my life.

Please understand.
My situation.
For my decision is final.

For now.
I'll stay to one.
Remain vigilant to my studies.
Stick to achieving what i wanted to.
All the rest can wait.
No more pain.
No more heartache.

I'm leaving everything behind.
To move on with my life.
Saying goodbye to all that i know.
Welcoming the challenge.
I'm here to achieve.

I'm sorry.
To all those out there.
You know who you are.
You'll find better.
Really.
Trust me.
(:

Worn Out. Shagged. Gone.

Been extremely tired these few days.
Ok ever since i started not being able to slp la.
hahas.
Finally caught up on some Zzz just now.
Class ended early.
And crystal was done earlier.
SO yea.
Took the opportunity to head home early.

Got back.
Looked at the 2 bros of mine play halo 3.
Saw the "repairing in progress" outlook of the 2 coms.
Watched tv.
Next thing i knew i woke up when mum and dad got back home.
haha. yea
4hrs of slp.
better then nth yea.

*being curious. why suddenly bro so nice to me wan ar? buy new ram for me all. hmm. but im thankful. i guess hehe.*

k. bored. off. gone.
pics of rejected crystal in next post.
Though i dare say it wld be sooooo coool if we cld use it cos like its so clear n all.
damn.
owh wells.
(:

Monday.
Was conferencing in the morn with Jo and Zul.
hahas.

Sch.
Test.
No comments.
*kill me!*

Moving on.
Yea.
I think.
MLP wasn't too bad.
Cos, the teacher did venepuncture one me.
yea.
hahas.
though. sad to say. gt no blood. sobs.
owh wells.

Ok so i made zee do it!
yea!
I am sooooo proud of her!
yes.
brave girl! (:
good job zee!
u did it!
(:

ok. i am sleepy. but yea. too early to slp!
hahahahas.
wah i feel like nth to blog abt u know.
sigh.
k ar.
next time je eh.
take care semue kamu bdk2.
hehehe.

*I WANA WORK AT SKATELINE!*
wahahaha.
mum's interrogating me on it already.
why wun she let me work?!
tsk.
hmmmm....

Installation Nite Is Over!
yay!
One down and one more to go.
Crystal Growing that is.
And there's good news for it too!
We gt to try the better formula!
yay!
Good Job Fish! (:

Anyways,
I'm just glad Installation Nite's over and that the tees turned out great.
Except one or 2 default ones.
yea.... (:

Gona be concentrating on crystal growing and my studies from now one.
It finally hit me that finals are less than 2 mnths away!
yikes.
and this paper determines if i can go poly or not.
double yikes!
must start concentrating!
must pass monday's bct paper!
wahhh!
stress.

anyways,
i'm still every sleepy.
can't think of anything much else to write.
so yea.
oh last thing.
Thanks Sham and friends for attending yest!
Much appreciated.
and thanks mum for buying chocs!
which is currently hidden deep2 in the fridge.
heeeeeee (:

*pics will be up tmrw.*

Been a really hectic week at sch.
More so cos im involved in too many things at one go.
sighs.
wish i can back out on half of it.
owh wells.

Finally got my meds today.
I hope it'll work.
(It better work! paid over 40 bucks for it!)
yea.
ok im lacking of things to update.
cos my head's heavy.
so yea.
pics uploaded.
Like FINALLY!
hahas.
cio ppl. tc.






*i can't help but think of the favour your gona ask of me. You are rarely serious. n when you are, it means business. just be safe for me pls and take care of yourself my dear. i'll try my best to help. ily syg.*

Hols finally ended and i'm sooooo not happy bout it.
Hols was like so not hols.
Had to be back in sch almost everyday plus having the bonus prize of being sick and managing only 2hrs of slp tops per night.
sighs.
Hols was a TORTURE!
*Requesting for extended hols pls! a mnth maybe? hee*

Anyways, its back to school day.
Was glad to meet my friends though.
Been long. (:
Had BCT in the morn.
yea. not too bad. i think.
Ok so i was probably dozing off every now and then.
(gimme a break ok i was sick and i had barely 2 hrs of slp! (: )

Then had CSV.
Was ok.
Cos CSV almost always end early and you don't have to do much.
(besides talking crap with the girls and shouting across the room to counter comments. hee)

Then there was MLP.
Starting was lengthy.
Ain't too bad aft that.
We did blood testing.
Pricking, smearing and uhh. i forgot wad e other one's called. heh.
Fizah pricked Hani.
Was cool.
Hahas.
See all the faces change aft the prick.
Makes me miss blood donation.
(:

SD LOVES BLOOD!
yea. blood keeps u alive and warm.

OK soooo random.
hahas.

Had mini meeting at the end of the day.
Think i can catch up lah.
SHouldnt be to bad.
Drumming to 'Do That Thing You Do' by The Wonders.

Headed home straight aft.
Have a lot of things to do.
Yet i'm not sure if i'm gonna do em.
Cos like i feel sooo weak.
Lacking of slp is killing me.
Damn.
Hope i can survive the week.

Installation Nite is this friday.
(just this "major" event that my cca goes through")
anyone wana come?
text me okies? or tag me. hahas.

Pics are yet to be uploaded.
Sadly.
I'm just too lazy to get my butt off from this bed and get the cable.
Will post it as soon as its up.
(:

Hope u're all well.
Take care!

Shan't say much bout today.
Girls. sorry i didnt turn up.
Last min mishaps came up.
AND I LEFT MY HP AT HOME AGAIN!
sorry to all who msged me with no reply. yea.
ok.
will update tmrw.
take care.

Behind every happy day, lies an unhappy memory.
by SD

This week.
The last week of sch.
Im bloody sick.
SO its gona hv the WEIRDEST posts ever!

Can't sleep.
Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep.

It hurts.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

I'm Bored.
I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored. I'm Bored.

Dead tired.
Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired. Dead tired.

Yea. there's more but think im too lazy to type em out. sighs.

I'M HATING THIS HOLS!

it ain't hols. its pure torture.
*i wana get fixed!*
-broken robotic human.
tsk.





I LOVE MEEBO!
chatrooms ar.
hehehehehe.
-RandoM

Being as bored as i am now though i have to go out and get stuff.
I shall update the full details that i've let out. hehe.
*sorry guys!*

OK lets see.

Last Sunday.
Spend the day at Vivo with friends.
Just to chill and relax.
Though that didnt happen till much much later in the evening.
There was Su and friends, Huda, me, Morph and Han Siong.
Den Ben came.
I miss my Mindchamps friends.
Was fun being with them lah.
Me, Ben and Han Siong stayed till late talking crap in vivo. hahas.
Ben got high on the arnott's choc biscuits. hahas. poor kitty.

The following week.
Monday's Happenings!
Went for the crystal growing in the morning.
Then headed for Interact Club meeting.
After that went for dinner with Aisyah, Zul, Wahidah and Ji Ying.
Yea.
Then since i agreed to follow Zul to go chill with his gang,
went to Bottle Village at Khatib.
They called themselves uhh.
W-Goonits.
hahas. Dun ask.
Then headed to North point.
Then home.
Something amusing happened at nite.
When chatting.
hahas. Dun think i shld mention it. (:
Anyways.
Aft all that.
Did a conference call with Zul and Jonas.
Couldnt stop laughing.
Think it lasted for 2 hrs plus. Yea.
hahas.

Tuesday.
Went for crystal growing.
Fish baked cookies!
I love her for that!
hehe.
And yes they were divine!
Yea.
Later at night.
Talked to Zul.
7hr long chat.
hahahs.
Was talking crap.
And making fun of the conv joke the day before.
hehe.
i feel bad.
owh wells.
(:

Today
Sick as hell.
sigh.
yet i hv to go out get stuff later.
damn it.
so lazy.
nak gi ke tak nak eh.
hmm.
stress lah. hahas.

k. dats it. (: