Flight back home might be delayed. My dear m.c pals im sooo sorry about it. email amanda soon.

Day Be Damned

Worst day of my whole journey here was yesterday.
I can't believe one little misunderstanding turned into one bloody threatening letter.
I'm going like WHAT THE HELL?!

I can only wish to say this out loud. sighs.
You don't find out the truth and you accuse us direct. we gave you our numbers to call us dammit! but YOU don't take the initiative to do so yet you ask US to take initiative in our work. you kick one of us out of the lab. we retreat to go learn in another lab. and that to you is playing truant! wth is wrong with you people! i don't see the logic already. its like you just accuse us like that and take it to our higher authority. its like a petty thief being accused of robbing a bank or smth. urgh. all i can say now is that its ok if you fucking say to the teachers that you don't want them to send anymore ITE students here. really. cause i would personally say GOOD! THANK GOD FOR THE NEXT BATCH! AT LEAST THEY DON'T SUFFER! urgh.
we got nagged at for smth we didnt do and that is not justice to me ok. really fucking fucked up shit crap. argh!

there. please don't mind my language. its smth that was from deep down inside. i had to put up soo much here and this is how they treat us. fine. be that way...

thankfully we don't have to suffer soo much anymore. cause there is only 9 working days left and there's like 2 weeks left for us to be here before we fly off. and i can't wait for that day to come. seriously.
home is all where i want to be now. home is all i need. away from here. far far away...

the next time i am gona take up a GEP experience. i will think twice about it.

end.

Post Delayed. To be updated soon. If you want to contact me, email me. Replies will be depending on when i get to use the internet. heh.

2 more weeks and 5 days!
wohoo!
can't wait~ (:

I LOVE PHOTO EDITING!

**all these pics are real. only i edited them on photoscape. hehe**

Written on 10th Nov 08'

A DAY TO REMEMBER..

Its the start of the 5th week here in China.
2 more weeks to go aft this.
Not counting the last 5 days. :D

I think. I bought tons of things already!
And today. I bought a new shirt for myself. (:
Though i dare say it'd be smth new for me to wear. heh.
Plus i got the cardi for mum!
Which i can wear too. hehehehe.

Anyways,
we ventured out for dinner today.
To this other halal rest nearby.
I think we can go like everyday lah. But then again...
hahas.
Oh and i had "night duty" today.
Cause we learnt how to pack a column.
Kinda confusing leh.
Seriously. But it was interesting though.

Things here has been swell.
Though with the various ups and downs every now and then.
But all is well. Esp the shopping.
And the sightseeing to the botanical gardens. (:

Though i can't say the same about the things back home?
I mean not with family.
But with the other party.
Ah ok i shan't go on with it.
I don't want to spoil my night here and make things worse.

Niways,
PUP I GOT YOUR LETTER!
OMG THE GIFT IS SOOOO CUTE! *good thing too cause u know i LOVE to wear necklaces! hehe*
AND THE CD! WAHAHAHA!
LMC ROCKS! (:
too bad me, matt, jiying and D wasn't there to join you guys... :(
But you guys did great! hehe.

Now i am awaiting for the parcel from dearest family..
With my awaiting order of CHOCS and such. hehe.
Hearing about them coming soon is making me drool! gosh.
I love you guys! *esp for sending the package with chocs in them! hehe*

Aite. I'm already falling asleep. haha.
Take care all!
Loves, Rash.

p.s: i suddenly missed eating rice... hmm.
p.p.s: i want WAFFLES!
p.p.p.s: countdown :: 25 days and counting! hehehehehe
p.p.p.p.s: She's finally being a real SHE. seriously! XD

-------------------------------------------------------------------
hope it all works out for you soon.
Cheer up okies.
And don't skip meals just cause you're feeling down.
Take care of yourself please.
If you want me back safe, you know i need you to be the same too.
Hope you feel better soon....
p.s: you know you can always email me. if you want....

Longing For Freedom

The hectic week i had. Gosh.
Ok so not really heactic.
I only say it cause it seems like too much to handle.
What with my finally finishing the 3rd book by stephanie meyers.
And also my agonizing lacking of sleep events.
Thus leading me to the loads of messing up that happened at work.
And ending my 5th day work week to be missed while i painstakingly doze off the fever that had been bestowed upon me.
Rain here ain't helping much either. Guess i don't blame it. heh.

Honestly,
I've no idea right now what i am jabbering away about.
I can't say i can complain much about the week.
Cause i can easily put it as i only did 3 and a half days of work.
Slept in half the day of friday (though i can say i slept farely early thur nite. hmm)
Then went out for a mini shopping experience in the evening.
Besides the fact that though i had loads of sleep friday, it still didnt improve my getting better part.
Cause i guess all the time i've woken up out of nowhere. hmm...

Oh can u believe that its 3.07am and i am actually pre-writting my blog?!
guess when inspiration strikes to write, its just gota be done. heh.

So its come to this. 8th Nov. Saturday. sighs.
Ending my fourth week.
Bought my jeans! yay!
bought a skirt! gee...
bought a new top! yay! *though it was actually for a friend but i loved it. so yea. heh. kekeke*
left for me now is to find a new pair of sneakers and palms *which will make jean very pleased. hmm.*

4th week is almost ending and 3 more weeks to go. yayness!
Fizah bdae was yest. Happy Belated Birthday sis!
Hope you had fun! hehe.

oh and the GEP from aust is back due today.
wahh...
when i think of it.
it hurts a lot. cause i gt 3 more weeks before i can say home sweet home.
But then again.
I don't really mind.
Cause shopping here is like heaven! hehe.
Though i am budgeting. hmm.

The most uniquest gift i got is for Jaqjack.
hahas.
i hope he hasnt got one like this before. so yea. i am enticipating his reaaction! ahhas.

Aites aites.
Jean took a pic of me in the skirt and new top i got.
Though i will gladly say i won't post it here.
SOoooo. if you want to see it...
uhh. email me?
hahas.
oh and did i mention she made me buy eye shadows too?!
...she changes me this girl. i bet mum's happy. and SF too. hahas.

Aites. Im off to bed. somehow. i guess. maybe. hahas.

Take care all!
Loves, Rash.

p.s: Miss mum, dad, VBI and dear old stinky. hehe. oh oh and bell a.k.a sparky too!
p.p.s: imy n ily SF my dear. (:
p.p.p.s: panda updates pls! ahahaha
p,p,p,ps: 3 weeks! ahhhhhhh! heheheheheh. (:

Short Quick Simple.

Cause im cold!
i shall update proper tmrw ok!
(:

Waiting on VBI actually. god knows where he is. grr.... so much for skyping today.
So yes my dear brother if u are reading this skype tmrw ok! (:

im cold. n im off. todays' been sucky. lacking of slp is affecting me all over again. sheesh.

take care all!

Love SD

Demons - AV7X

I've been thinking lots about my life and
How quick I wash it down the drain
Past tense the future, nothing matters now
I act on my own and I'm to blame
Livings a wicked dream, where things turn out all wrong
Were all so weak, no matter how strong, yeah

I tried running away from me
Convince me that I've grown, but I can't
Change so unnaturally, Demons they follow me
I quit running away from me
Convinced that I have grown, but found out
All my reasons for insanity, all a part of me

I don't like that you're calling me a liar
I don't like that you found out I'm a snake
Been sneaking around for far too long now
I don't like how fast my intentions fade
Karma has beat me down, the worst is yet to come
Many mistakes and still I'm so young, yeah

I tried running away from me
Convince me that I've grown, but I can't
Change so unnaturally, Demons they follow me
I quit running away from me
Convinced that I have grown, but found out
All my reasons for insanity, all a part of me

I can't
Count how many times
Awakened in fear, nightly
Palms sweating
Dreams
Of promises I've made
To no one but myself
Have been
Crushed daily

Don't lend me your hand
I can't trust my self
So how can you trust me

We've all been selfish about decision
We've all tried dishing out the blame
Convinced ourselves of our own actions
My problem is I'll never change
In doubt, some good comes out
I'll fold before its time
Can't promise you that its my last time, yeah

I tried running away from me
Convince me that I've grown, but I can't
Change so unnaturally, Demons they follow me
I quit running away from me
Convinced that I have grown, but found out
All my reasons for insanity, all a part of me

Truth won't help you now
All the loves gone too far

Truth won't help you now
All the loves gone too far

I'm scarred, yeah
Demons they follow me, 'cause my insanity
I'm scarred, yeah
Demons they follow me, 'cause my insanity
I'm scarred, yeah
Demons they follow me, 'cause my insanity
I'm scarred, yeah
Demons they follow me, 'cause my insanity

Tangled Thoughts

She has started listening to malay songs! *gasp*
thanks to my bro for leaving a whole folder of malay songs in his memory card when he gave it to me, to aisyah for sending me a whole album of andrea and the backbones and lastly for me cause i am so lacking of new songs that i ended up venturing to the folding. hmm.

Well thats besides the point k. hehe.
I'm already in the fourth week of my stay here! Fouth week day 2 to be exact. Sooooooo Happy!
Cause left like 3 weeks? hehe.
Yet i am sad cause we have yet to get out for the sight seeing that we have been planning. hmm.
Thanks to the constant rain whenever we wana go out.
We're being safe rather than sorry ok. GOod thing too cause i sorta promised a whole bunch of people that i would come back in one piece safe and sound. Quite a handful for a promise though? heh

The biggest news ever today.
A FREAKING HUGE SPIDER VENTURED INTO MY LAB AND CRAWLED UP AND DOWN THE WINDOW SILL CONSTANTLY FALLING OFF ITS WEB!
it was like so on purpose can! like it was playing with me. worse was that I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW IT! and i am not exaggerating about the size. really. it was big!
i think the morning part of work was the worst. what with the spider and it felt like forever before i was left to go for lunch. sheesh.
everytime that 8 legged thing looked like it was gona fall, my heart would skip a beat. i think if it did really fall i would SCREAM! seriously. cause it wasnt small. it was big. bigger than the one on charlotte's web.
*yea i watched it. amazing huh?*

Anyways,its been raining the whole day today.
And the temperature's dropping nowadays. sighs.
guess the cold season's gona hit any time now... yet... im still able to wear shorts to sleep. kekeke.
*no surprise there if i get sick eh? heh*
Been restless lately.
Can't seem to get much good sleep. So far in the past few days i only managed to sleep like 4 hrs? and will only fall aslp arnd 2am. and that bloody cat! sheesh. it only starts to make noise at 3 am! :(
i miss my bed and the good sleep i always get in it.... sighs..

Been telling myself to re-pack mu luggage. But seems like i've yet the time. I want to start using my new diesel bag! hehe.
Yea yea and i got tons more of em for people too. Damn i feel like a wholesaler. hmm.

Oh oh and the VP of the school constantly checks up on me. Like what the? Can't he go bother Jean or something? heh.
Just cause his office is outside my lab doesn't mean he needs to babysit me all the time... hmm. unless he has a car and he can drive both me and jean to and fro to town? hehehe.
*fat hope*

People pray hard for me that it won't rain this sunday.
One reason cause me and Jean wana go sightseeing.
Two is i wana try go jog around here. Seems nice. The weather and all.
*plus i can train myself to run from icky huge large obnoxious spiders! hehe*

And so this ends her entry for the day.
She shall say she misses a whole of people back home.
Esp the craziness that comes along with it.
And the never ending new adventures! (:
So long to all.
Do take care.
Be safe.
Misses to all.
Hugs to many.
Love for everyone! heh.
lastly. breezer anyone?
hahas. kidding! XD

p.s: VBI the panda is still under hostage with me! hehe. skype wed pls.....
p.p.s: Panda i will not bring back a panda for you! haha
p.p.p.s: I miss you family. Love you all! (:
p.p.p.p.s: I want to get the 12 megapix camera!!!! :z
p.p.p.p.p.s: imy n ily shmelly! (:
p.p.p.p.p.p.s: bored ppl out there. email me songs and shows and books and what not to let me occupy my time here! oh and if u want/can/are nice (heh) DHL ME CHOCS! kekeke. XD

Strange Emotions.

I'm sorry i over reacted. Kinda let my emotions get to me again. sighs. sorry!
*the person who the above sentence is going out to will know themself who the person is*
i hope anyways. hee.

This GEP trip is more of a emotional roller coaster ride. Tests you physically and mentally.
Physically in the sense of the weather i guess. Compared to Singapore's weather. Both places have a BIG variation when it comes to weather. Singapore's always so hot and humid when it ain't raining during the monsoon season. But here. Rain or shine. Its almost never hot. Its like you barely feel the heat though the weather's always cold. And when i say cold. I mean cold. Nonetheless. You can still see people wearing short sleeved shirts or even short skirts and just wondering around like its not cold. I get jealous when i see that. Mainly cause even me, walkinga round outside wearing jeans, long-sleeved/short sleeved shirt plus a jacket on still shiver at the weather sometimes. sighs.
This place is acceptionally well for those of you who don't like the blazing heat but love the shine of the sun. Cause down here. Its 24/7 air conditioning. Day and night. No off buttion so as to say. And its colder when it rains. Im shivering my ass off typing this now. hahas.
Oh oh and also the way people live here. It ain't like Singapore. Its more to the you do what you have to do to survive. If you want your lifestyle here to be what its like in singapore, uhh sad to say i doubt u'd survive. hahas. hey i made a lot of sacrifices being here ok! (:

**The VP just walked passed me and saw me typing this. hahas. all he did was look at me smiled and laugh. gee**

Anyways, back to the topic i was rantinga bout. Physical challenges done. Mentally related challenges.
Such as....The fact that you will be very homesick the moment you're here. Somewhat 700 miles away from home. Sighs. and you're family back home. Friends. Significant others. kekeke. anyways, wad i really mean is you will miss hoe very much though when you come back you will start appreciating it more. trust me. Bintan is nothing compared to this. (

Things i miss back in Singapore:
1) Seat Toilets!! (:
2) Local home made food!
3) Water Heaters!
4) My Bed!
5) The Heat!
6) My Family!
7) Everyone else!

Things i WANT/MUST do when i get back:
1) USE THE TOILET!
2) HAVE A PROPER LONG HOT SHOWER!
3) GO LJS! hahahaha any takers?
4) GO BLADING!
5) GO TO THE BEACH!
6) Spend time with my family
7) Spend time with my friends/bf.
8) Give out them souviniers. heh.
9) EAT MUM'S HOME COOKED MEALS! *suddenly im getting sick of fast food*
10) mos importantly. INDULGE IN AS MUCH CHOCS AS I CAN.
hahahas.

Things that i will miss in Kunming:
1) Shopping
2) Being independant
3) Spicy cheap food. heh
4) The ice cream *though i can get it in singapore but still its somehow nicer here. hmm*
5) The weather
6) The people from my lab
7) The adventures i have with Jean.


i am officially sivering my ass off now cos i just had a nice hot shower n now im outside. its like so cold!!!! hahas. freezing sia!

Watcha think?

STEAMBOAT CHINA STYLE!
hahahaha.

3 weeks flew by but it was one hell of a time!
wasn't easy at first i shall admit. and it still aint easy now.
first days wen in and we started missing home bit by bit. sometimes random things could just trigger us and the tears would start to well up and sometimes if unable to be controlled. it will just flow freely. unknowingly. mostly when we wana go to sleep.
the week after. slowly getting used to the new enviornment which we soon had to call our home for 2 months. the cold became bearable. we found new ways to make life easieer. we went on our first shopping trip. it was making us feel much better.


from time to time i would think about home. mum, dad and my brothers.
i would think about the one other person i care alot for.
then came my friends.
and i'd start that homesick feeling all over again.
though now. its bearable. though i can't say those tears totally disappeared.
sometimes aft skyping. i would feel this empty hole in me. its like somethings missing. the missing hole was really just the missing for home. i long to go back. to stop these stupid tears. to feel the actual warmth heat from the once blazing sun i knew back home. to have a proper toilet and proper hygene life. hahas.
yea...

anyways, my luggages like almost full yet shopping aint over. so yea. (:
waiting for the package from pup.
spent the day watching movies and finishing the 2nd bk. New Moon by Stephanie Meyers and starting on her 3rd book, Eclipse. u ppl should read it!
hahas.

ok ok i don't want to say much or i'd start welling up with tears again soon. so yea.

I miss u all...