A New Begining

2010-02-13T23:13:00.001-08:00

Moved to.
rantitout.tumblr.com

2009-12-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

She said goodbye for a reason.
Reasons you didn't understand.
Reasons she doubts you'll ever understand.

Don't make it harder then it already is.
You don't know how much its killing her already.
Its more then you'd ever feel.

2009-12-02T01:27:00.000-08:00

Who's this other person talking?
Who's this weak, defenceless sould here taking over my place.
How could this have happened?
Is this for real?

What have i done?

2009-11-30T04:40:00.000-08:00

I don't know to laugh.
Or to go pfft.
Or just.
-_______________________-"

2009-11-27T08:50:00.001-08:00

A day to remember(?)

Woke up at 9.
Snoozed till 12.
Went to visit grandad.
Ride around town to see the lights.
Head back home surrounded by gamers, complainers, hungry monsters and my beloved technologies.

Found a name for it.
Frazzy!
yes.

Moving on.
Full weekend ahead.
Out with friends and such.

Lets see how messed up it will be shall we?

2009-11-24T17:48:00.000-08:00

2009-11-22T16:41:00.000-08:00

Love of Me.

Slowly. But surely. Learning to love this life. Bit by bit.
Slowly. Learning to love myself.

From experience i had lately. To the people i talk to. To the people who show they actually care. To those who are missed oh so much. To the way my mind thinks now. Lets just say...

Life's short. Live It. Don't Waste it.
<3

Biggest lesson learnt in life. Over and over again. Yet we don't really enforce what we learn. Just like sch? At some pt. Well. this is my view at least.

All in all i guess. Even of you don't realise you enforce this thing you've learnt. I guess knowing it deep down inside thought forgotten, it better than nothing rite? Like what people say...

Its The Thought That Counts. (:

2009-11-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

Enough said.
Nothing more to explain.
You paved the path.
I led the way.
And here we are.
Back again.

She left her soul behind.
In exchange for enjoyment and fame.
And now there's no regrets.
Nothing to help her restrain.

The girl she thought she left behind.
Has finally caught up.
And here she is.
Back to the arms of the evil she loves.

Spare me the nags.
Spare me you sap stories.
All she wants now.
Is to be drowned out.
By the calling of the blissful liquid sin.

Every drop.
Every sip.
Every gulp.

The burning heat.
You feel going deep down.
Only to leave.
The sorrows be drowned.
Only to have.
Enjoyment found.

2009-11-17T05:48:00.001-08:00

"All I Need Is You"
The Click Five

You're scared
It shows
Been there
You're not prepared to be
In love
With me
So soon cause you've been through enough to have
Something hold you back

We don't need to go that far
Let's hold on to where we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you

They say
Don't waste
Your time
They're obviously blind

So let's
Forget
The words the thoughts they put into your head
Don't give up just yet

We don't need to go that far
Let's hold on to where we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you

We don't need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is --

Baby, maybe we should start somewhere
Baby, let me in your heart
Before we fall apart

We don't need to go too far
Let's hold on to who we are
If it's real we'll make it through
Cause all I need is you

We don't need the world right now
We got time to work it out
Hold on tight, I'll hold on too
Cause all I need is you
All I need is you
All I need is you

2009-11-16T19:25:00.001-08:00

Running Away - Hoobastank

I don't want you, to give it all up
And leave your own life, collecting dust
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side
To tell me, that everything's alright
I just wanted you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

[Chorus]
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I
Was willing to give, and sacrifice
And I was the one, who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

[Chorus]
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me, is it you? (is it me, is it you)
Nothing that, I can do (nothing that, I can do)
To make you, change your mind (to make you)

Is it me, is it you? (so why do - you run - away)
Nothing that, I can do (won’t you tell me)
Is it a, waste of time? (why do - you run - away)

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that, I can do
To make you, change your mind - no

[Chorus]
So why are you running away?
Why are you running away? (what is it, I have to say)

[Chorus]
So why are you running away? (to make you admit, you're afraid)
Why are you running away?

2009-11-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

I can't live a lie.
I can't keep on going like this.
The pain of the truth.
Is killing me inside.
But to let out the truth.
Will leave me all alone.
Not a problem there.
Something i have to bear with.
The problem is.
The hurt and pain it'll cause you.
The both of you.

I can't go on living each day.
Knowing that i've done this.
That this cycle has repeated itself all over again.
That nothing can be done to avoid all this.

You've instill fear in me.
In a way that shows little on the outside.
It has been ringing in my mind.
On and on each day.
Its really like a repeat of the past.
How could this be.

And you.
You show yourself.
Pour out your feelings.
Interests.
That's all.
Is it safe to go on?
Or should i cut all ties now?

How can all this be resolved?
Why does this always happen?
Why can't i step out of such a situation?
Why can't i just be normal?
Why?

Oh god please save me from all this.
I've had enough.
I need to see how to endure all this.
To make it all go away.

I wish i knew.
I really wish i knew.

2009-11-14T07:06:00.000-08:00

All i can say is.
Thanks dear.
For this and the balzer. (:
Seriously it was an unexpected twist with the blazer.
Which shocked us all.
hehe.
(:

**Updates**
School.
UT.
Late Nights.
The usuals.

Met his friends fri night.
Met his friend's gf too.
Another RP-ian. Yay. (:
Hard to sum them up in proper meaningful words.
All i can say is.
They make me miss my closest friends so much more.
sighs.
I wana meet em(Hudz, Hani) soon! :(

2009-11-12T07:47:00.000-08:00

Though the morning was...
*&^#!#$@@$%#&
I made it through the day.
Phew.
Though the afternoon was...
&%%#$^**&)*%$#@!~S%^&$%^&*()(**^^$%#$#^
I made it through the day.
=\
Though there were the rough moments.
We made it through.
You cheered me up real well.
Thank you sweetie. (:
Apologies aside.
We both had our share.
We made our mistakes.
We undone what we did.
All is well now.

Only one thing left for me to do.
I think i have had enough of the games of the past.
I shall be moving on for good.
So if one fine day you see me no longer in your friend list.
Please realize.
I did it for the better.
For all of us.

2009-11-11T16:16:00.000-08:00

Hahas.
This is what you get.
For webcaming till 3 in the morning!
Kene kau Khai! (:

2009-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

this is FRIZZY! :D

2009-11-08T08:21:00.000-08:00

Its an update of 3 days worth.

Lotsa pics.

Complete pics in FB.

(If u dun hv fb and wana view the pics pls tell me. I will upload em in photobucket. (: )

Anyways.

...

The Substation:

By The Migrant Ecologies Project (Lucy Davis),

The Arts House

Esplanade

Our Month. (:

The Cult Filming!

2009-11-05T19:49:00.000-08:00

Another rainy day.
Wish i was at school. Really.
Sorry Feeq!

Anyways.
Physics UT yest.
Was pure (&)!@*^&5$%@(&
=\

Thank god i had plans to meet up Khai for a movie.
Really helped alot.
Watched Jennifer's Body.
Khai's "second gf" haha!
It wasn't at all what i expected.
But it was an ok2 show uh.
Quite funny really.

Oh and my dear friend finally found out where one fullerton is.
-_-
*Khai seriously where the hell have you been these years? haha!*
Though i still owe him brownies. err. hehe?

Gotta get back to sch later for the cult filming.
Hows a girl to scream when she's sick?
hmm.

Wonder how we're gonna film if it still rains?!

OK moving on.
Tmr's like gonna like be like a full day
sighs.
But should be worth all of it definitely! (:

Good friends. Good laughter. Good fun. (:

2009-11-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

Overdue pics.
Compilation of all.
Tho i'm still looking for them webcam pics.
hmm.

my new toy. haha!

Halloween!(:
With Maurice and Mirul

Heart Attack!

Due to the origami madness. (:
This was the first i made.

Ajul made this for me.
And left it at my laptop.
haha.

2009-11-03T18:34:00.000-08:00

As he let me free fall half body backwards down,
And pulled me up once more.
All i could say was, "now that was fun".
And he went, "no dear that was blood rush"

The second time round.
He said the same thing to me.
And what i said was, "If that was blood rush, then what is the red liquid that flows when you have a cut on your skin?"
He went "that blood dear"
And so i asked the question again.

But what i meant to say was.
"If that was blood rush(rash), then what is the red liquid that flows when you have a cut on your skin?"

*since u ppl call me rash which sounds like rush. hehe. when he said "blood rUsh", it sounded like "blood, Rash". keke"

His reaction after realising this was priceless. (:
^^v

2009-11-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

Desperate People Looking For Their Desperate Halves.

Random?
No.
Truth?
Yes.
Me?
No.
Someone i know?
Yes. Rather. Someone(s).

I don't get it.
Why can't people just move on.
Instead on lingering on.
Its...
Irritating?
No.
Annoying?
No.
A desperate act of self pity?
Yes.

Sometimes i wish there were those groups for all the poor souls.
To teach them to stop looking for self pity.
Instead be stronger and move on.
Ok so i get it, its hard to move on.
But there's this thing called.
No point finding fault?

I get it like you can get pissed just cause your jealous.
But lets face it.
Its reality.
So why bother someone else about your sap story?
It's meaningless.
Your wasting someone else's time.
And lets face it.
You plastering "DESPERATE" all over you!
Wake up already!
Sheesh.

No i'm not doing this to pin point someone(s).
I'm doing this in hope that this person reads it.
Or someone tells this to the person.
So this person can wake up.
Move on.
Like this person said this person is doing.
Sigh.

I'm sorry if this offends any of you.
Its just how i feel.
My last relationship ended cause some f*cker meddled in it.
No i do not want it to happen again.
So if you're unhappy.
Come talk to me face to face ok.

p.s: Ash. This is not refering to you at all. It's someone else whom we both know. (:

2009-11-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

Went back to RP on a Sunday night.
To watch a play called.
"Kental Ah Lu Mat"
All cause of dear feeqy.
But it was a great performance!

So i went with Khai.
Like finally met him.
Lame pics cause we got bored.
Hahas.
Oh and he's like my 2 years ago senior in RP?
Was interesting to see him go all wide eyed on his old sch. hehe.

2009-10-31T10:13:00.000-07:00

Origami frenzy.
Yupp thats the one i did like finally. hahas.
Was doing cranes, boxes and even attempted a rose with zul just now.
Gave up in the rose tho. XD

Anyways,
the boys came over today.
From two became 3 became 4.
Had fun. (:
We even did our own halloween special.
Lead actor maurice.
Vid's on FB. (:

And we had guitar hero battle.
Me, zul and mirul.
hahas.
And that was stated in the order of winner down. keke.
Cmon lets face it.
If you own the game, ofcourse you're good at it.
Since u play it all the time rite! (:

And now there's only me and zul.
And he's hooked to guitar hero.
Hahas!

That's all for now. (:

2009-10-29T19:24:00.000-07:00

2009-10-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

Its been a month's streak!! (:
<3

Engineering Design suddenly got better.
Math too.
SD loves math now.
^^v

So the other day i remembered that i was supposed to bring pics for him to see.
Which was like supposed to be a few weeks back? hehe.
Anyways, managed to rummage for em yest.
Seeing the pics actually carved a smile on my face.
Seeing how me and squirt were when i was 4 and he was 1?
My dear gold fish eyes smart ass brother. <3
Seeing the pic of me, mum and bro.
Seeing my parents wedding pic.
*didnt know my dad was THAT thin seh! wow. hehe*
Oh and the best one was.
The pic of us 3 siblings.
i miss that really.
sighs.

Okies almst at emo stage already.
hahas.
Shall move on.
Which means.
I'll blog more soon.
(:

2009-10-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ben And Jerry's!
I'm going crazey over it. (:
http://www.benjerry.com/

Putting that aside.
I know i kinda linked this to my 2 girls.
But.
It also makes up this person you know.
Me.
SD.
(:

Mess with me and i'll screw you up bad till you'll never dare face the world again. (:
I don't do this often.
But when you're bullshit is more then anyone can handle.
And you happily picked me to throw it at.
You'll get what you're asking for in the first place.
I can be your worst nightmare.
Or i can be your beloved teddybear.
Or i can just be somewhere in between.
(:

If you know me well enough.
You'd eventually get to know how insanely crazy i can be.
No what you see in sch is nothing.
Wait till you really made me burst out.
Like when you shake your coke too much before opening it.
You'll either get freaked by me and run.
Or you'd join me in the fun.
Either way.
Your impression of me will totally change.
Trust me on this.
:D

You know me well.
You know how super nice i can be.
You know the real "soft" side of SD.
Ask my bf.
He knows. (:
<3>

2009-10-22T21:55:00.001-07:00

Much have yet to be updated.
Think this time round i really went out too much. hehe.
^^v

Been to the most random of randomest places.
Last min unplanned outings.
Hanging out with the boys watching soccer games unknowingly.
Movies. Ton-ing. Ps2-ing. Guitar-ing. Alot of other -ings.
hahas.
Happy days at last.
No regrets at all. (:

All in all.
These outing have only proved one thing on my side.
I am ALWAYS in the situation of being the only girl amongst a whole bunch of guys.
grr.
School just double confirmed it.
Great.
hahas.

Lazy to upload pics.
Shall upload when i have more. (:
<3

**Hudz & Hani: Dinner biler?! we need to catch up and meet up! (:
**Diego: We've yet to try that place @ the cathay! x)

2009-10-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

2009-10-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

2009-10-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

My Surprise. <3

Gelare. Fruit Paradise. Sorority Row. Never Ending Fun. <3
Thanks sweetie!

2009-10-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

New desserts that we tried and some of them have tried but blissfully missed. (:
Gelare this weekend.
Warm Chocolate Cake and my fav Jivara cake. Yumm!

Oooozing chocolate over flowing when you cut into the cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream accompanied by raspberry drizzle and fresh fuits.

Crunchy chocolate and flake base with a top alter of chocolate mousse accompanied by a part of a milk chocolate slice and raspberry drizzle with fresh fruits.

Every chocolate lover's dream! :D

Next up.
Gloria Jeans! (:
oh and that new place at the cathay! :D

Gelare tuesday @ orchard central.
Any takers? :D

2009-10-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

Its all made clear.
I'm glad that its over.
Now i can start posting as per normal again!
yay!
(:

2009-10-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

Honestly.
As much as i would love to rant out every single little bad thing about you.
Through every single little experience we once had together.
I won't.
I'm restraining myself from doing so.

Why?

Cause i ain't a coward like you.
Running to everyone telling every little bad detail about me.
About what we promised to keep to ourselves.
No matter what.
Cause i don't want to look for sympathy.
Most importantly.
Cause i'm not a coward.
Unlike you.

But putting all this aside.
I would like to thank you.
For the experience of a lifetime.
The full on roller coaster ride.
That taught me much.

You made me realise
How much importance my family is.
No matter how much you suffer with them.
You made me realise.
Who my true friends are.
And how important it is to have them around.
You made me realise.
What an asshole someone can be.
Backing out on his words.
No matter how much was said.
Or promised.
You made me realise.
What a real relationship should be.
Which is obviously.
The opp of what we had to go through.
(:

Thank you Ash.
It's been nice.
Knowing you.
But.
I think its better now.
Not knowing you at all.
Goodbye. (:

2009-10-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

Its a silent break.
And you know it.
It's final.
Goodbye.

2009-10-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

2009-09-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

2009-09-27T10:29:00.001-07:00

When you turn to a bitch, you never turn back.

>)

2009-09-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

Mess Of Me
(Switchfoot)

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no drug that they could sell
Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well

There ain´t no drugs
It´s not enough
There ain´t no drugs
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

We lock our souls in cages
We hide inside our shells
It´s hard to feed to the ones you love
Oh when you can´t forgive yourself
Yeah forgive yourself!

There ain´t no drugs
There ain´t no drugs
There ain´t no drugs
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

AHHHHHHOOOOO!

There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
There ain´t no drug
No drugs to make me well
There ain´t no drug
It´s not enough
We´re breaking up
The sickness is myself
The sickness is myself

- Chorus -
I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!

2009-09-23T09:48:00.001-07:00

Buzzed. Fcked up. Problemed. Complication.

How much more worse can this life get?

2009-09-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

The three most common words.
Which is most commly
- misused.
- misunderstood
- misinterpreted
- unappreciated
or
-overlooked.

To me at least.

The three words.
That can both hurt, or make you feel as high as ever.

The three words.
That once u say aloud.
You can't take it back.
Without hurting.
Someone.

The three words.
Which we will never learn our mistakes from.
For they will happen over and over again.

The Three words.
That made us who we are today.

The Three words.
That is always not said.
When the situation call for it.

The Three Words.
That makes us, who we are.
Which determines our future.
Which teaches us a lesson.
Which means alot to us now and forever.

The three most powerful words.
Unknowingly.

2009-09-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

Its 4.30am in the morning.
Its raya.
I feel like i woke up for sahur lah. -_-
I fell aslp halfway helping mum bake.
Serves me rite for not sleeping almst 2 days straight. hahas.
So anyways..

Selamat Hari Raya To All Muslims Out There.
Maaf Zahir dan Batin Atas ape-ape kesilapan saya.
Have a blast today.
And for all the kids.
Here come the moneyy! *kidding! hehe*

To the rest of you guys and gals.
Happy Holidays! (:

2009-09-16T05:50:00.000-07:00

You've answered all my questions.
Without even realising it.
I'm just.
Speechless.

2009-09-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

Congratulations.
You have successfully make me hate that photo of me.

These days have taken its turn.
Everything have changed.
Esp my perspective on my life and how's it going.
Hanging on is no longer a question.
It is now a statement.
Bold-ed, italic-ed and underlined.

I have realised who are those ppl who remained true.
And those who have backed on their words.
In a way.
I realise what's next to be done.
Or rather. Has to be done.
Now its a matter of.
Do i have the strength and courage to do it?

Simple words from such a unknown person.
Changed EVERYTHING.
The consequences are clear.
Its time i faced the music.
Here goes nothing... soon.

I have to think through this still.
Think of what's the best move.
Think on finding ways abt the truth.
Think think think.
I'm getting sick and tired of thinking.
So here goes nth.
As i make the final plunge.
To the end of what has begun.

I'm just glad to know.
Who are the one who's gonna be there when i fall.
To pick me up and make things better.
One way or another.
And so in advance.
I thank you.
For being such true friends.
(:

Its abt time soon.
Its abt time soon.
So let it begin.
Here goes nothing...

2009-09-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

This is somewhat how i feel now.
And i just want to stay there.
Not move.
Just be still.
sighs.

*btw i hv this duck in a soft toy version! i love it! haha*

So many people.
So many events.
So many situations.
They all come and go.
Barely have we thought.
How has it affected us at all?
Have they made a difference to us?
Have they meant something more that what we saw?

Sometimes.
Its just too late.
I guess.
And thus.
We have to move on.
Right?

2009-09-13T08:53:00.000-07:00

As much as I had fun with the guys.
It was a day not complete.
Cos i didn't get to be with dear. =(
sighs.

But.
I finally got my pie today.
Which cheered me up a little.
And i get to meet up with my ITE gang.
The Interactorz.
Cheyy.

Award of the day
goes to:
AMIRUL!
(cause his face when he ate the chocolate part of the pie was priceless!)

Its fun being with the gang.
Though i didn't know there would be Amirul and Hadi.
My two new insane juniors.
haha.
Mango and Banana pie.

Chocolate Mint Pie.

**I still want my banana caramel pie!**
Can't wait to bring you there dear!
Love you! (:

Oh and for the rest of my friends.
Yes lets all hang there soon!
Thanks Bi Qin jie for hints on this place!
(:

p.s: I saw/caught a friend on a date there too! hehe

2009-09-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Just one of those days.
All you'd want is to walk out and leave.
Just be alone.
Without a care in the world.

Scared.
Oh pretty red liquid.
Would you flow all over me?

The End.
This is.
I'm sorry.

2009-09-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

My rotting rate.
Has went up a level. yay.
One more wk to go. (:

I love the teeth in the pic.
Wish i had that.
*chomp chomp*
(btw that's me. as said by Jannah too. Shall post up two more in the following days. ^^v)

2009-09-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Abang!
Da tua. Buat hal tua kay!
(:

Bro's bdae.
Old already lah he.
Had a gathering at his house.
Was.... ok lah. :|

ANYWAYS.
We bought em durian cake.
By far the best durian cake i've ever ate.
Cos it was like.
a whole generous amount of durian filling.
sandwhich-ed btwn 2 layers of thin sponge cake.
yumm.
(:

2009-09-08T23:05:00.000-07:00

Croquembouche

heard of this ages ago.
saw in recently in a movie.
and now.
i found out.
THEY HAVE IT IN SINGAPORE!
Can some kind soul get this for me on my 21st bdae?
I'll love ya for life uh!
hehe

Fruit Paradise
Fruit Tart Enlarged.
Looks soooo goood cannn!
:o

and..
im gona get some this sunday.
CAN'T WAIT!
(:

2009-09-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

Annoying day.
Somewhat eventful evening.
Horrible nite.

Is it so wrong for me to be home late?
For one nite!
argh.
(dun make me regret)

Glad to see my ITE friends.
Been long.
Not much changed.
Though i miss em all!
*Hani aren't you glad i made u go now? hehe*

Bahh.
I wana relive them ITE days.
W/O the fcked up lecturers.
It would be the time of our lives.
(:

Too bad our grp of 7 was short of one.
*Where are you?*

All in all.
Today was great.
But not amazing.
Cos..
i never get my pie.
and.
one other ting.
=(

oh wells.
life goes on.

oh.
Ben! Good luck tmr!
We shall see you in 2 weeks Navy Boy!
(:

Boy you hurt me more then you know.
Im already clinging to this last strand of hope.
Don't make me let it go.
Please.
Ily.

2009-09-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

I won't follow.
Not anymore.

2009-09-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

What did i got myself into?

Its almost 4.15am.
I barely slept the day before.
And i've yet to sleep a wink today.
yea.
power.
and i got sch in 3 hrs ++
rite.

*dreading thoughts*

not looking fwd to collecting them items at Jannah's.
not looking fwd to carrying them to school.
not looking fwd to the briefing.
not looking fwd to the headache.
not looking fwd to the stress.
fick.

*save me*

2009-09-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

Freakin tired.
It is not a day i would love to repeat agn. =\

And.

He went to bed.
Early.
When he said we'll talk later.
*gibberish*
=(

Oh wells.
Can't blame em.

Tmr.
The day i will swear and swear and swear.
Aft buka.
Definitely.
We shall see how it goes.
Jannah! I need ur help on this one!
Only you noe why.
=|

So ends the day.
4 more hours till sahur.
Too agitated to slp.
Crap.

Goodbye.

2009-09-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

What the hell is kuih layang2?
It was answered by Jannah. lol.

Bsides that.
I swear i am ready to massacre ppl!
Yest was enough.
Today just hit the trigger.
=Z

*breath*

I am suddenly not liking aug and sept.
WHY SO MANY PPL BDAE THIS MONTH AH?
buat stress je.
haha.

Okies so the event is postponed.
AND.
Just as expected.
It clashed with dear APEC.
=\

Logistics is a nightmare.
WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO!
This month is a real cabaran month sia.
About to blow.
But imma keep it all in.
sighs.

2009-09-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

"Second Chance"
~Shinedown

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
Today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today

I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
In place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Here's my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance [x2]

2009-08-31T10:02:00.000-07:00

In reality, life can be a bitch. Esp when it bites u back hard.

Pills for men.
Pills for women.
And it all started out from this blue "wonder" pill called 'Viagra'.

Its amazing that something as insignificant as that. Make people's creativity come to life. Salute to these insignificant small items.

I got bored. So i read May's edition of RD (yea i know, like 4 mnths ago worth of news). But that one particular article caught my attention. And no, not cause it was about viagra! =z
The main topic was that, but what came from that one pill, was so many other variations of it to suit both men and women.
Behind the whole article was the topic of what men wants and what women wants. When you read it, you'll be laughing out loud for sure. Cause it is what reality is.

For example,
women wants man to shut up and stop complaining abt having to follow them shopping and so on. whereas man wants women to walk pass a shop and not even think about going in it.

So this is what the article had. A prescription for these problems.

1)Storophobex (For men): a spoonful a day for 2 weeks will make the man eager and willing to go shopping with their wives and wait patiently in stores/boutiques for an astonishing 4 hours!

2)Shoppiproofen (For women): Two 5-ml doses taken at breakfast will enable a women to walk straight past stores without even entering.

I find these quite amusing. This clearly states the lack of giving and taking + communication in the lives of us human beings.

Besides all this. I wonder what's a good name for a pill that will help people to literally "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES! REALITY IS IN YOU FACE! SO STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM IT YOU FOOL!" (:

2009-08-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

SD is super high now cos...

MAN U WON! :D

*woots!*

2009-08-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

**Amrie and gang. The post u ppl looking for is below this one.**

Ash's Birthday Surprise!(?)
haha

Thanks to Faz's mum for baking the cake!
Superb! (:

Bdae boy getting a kiss each from his scandals. XD
*cute la tu korang*

Those of us who we're present.
Ragava, Amrie, Ash, Me, Dila and Izzat

2009-08-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

Today.
I found out that.

(some)Guys Just Totally Have No Guts!

Literally.
I mean it.

Grow up.
Be daring!
You think girls want you when u stalk them from behind?
Fck No!
Wake up and smell the roses lad.
Don't find trouble when you want to find love.
Sighs.
Kids these days.
Everything has to be served to you on a silver platter.
seriously.
GROW UP!

2009-08-28T07:11:00.001-07:00

Shooting stars.

They fly across the nite sky.
So rare.
So pretty.
Yet so unfortunate that they don't stay long.

These are the people.
Who are the shooting stars in my life.
Where have you gone?
What had happened between us?
You are all missed alot.
♥

2009-08-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Done by: Bi Qin (Jie)
hehe

Edited by: SD

Yesterday was Ash's bdae.
Got home late.
Too tired to post up.
so.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DEAR!
(:

Anyways,
met him and the boys.
Buka outside.
They took over my psp for a bit.
Loved disturbing the bdae boy yest.
(:

Amrie wen u need help with girls.
You should consult GIRLS!
-_-

So anyways,
buka.
Bugg em more.
Frolicked!

Me loves you lots dear!
8 more years! (:
<3

2009-08-25T05:32:00.001-07:00

Bubble tots:

"SD jumps around, does cartwheels, backflips, runs around in circles with hands waving in air, BIG smile on face while screaming with joy."

Bubble tot pops.

Which translates as.
THE HOLIDAYS HAVE BEGUN LAH SEYY!!!!
:D

~I'm lovin it!~

I need to go.
Art friend.
Or wherever.
To look for.
Durable materials.
Which kids wun tear off/lose easily.
Who's free?

And.

I wans find part time job.
permanent part time mayb?
not for my own enjoyment for money ok!
=\

Anyways.
Fasting.
Hols.
Projects.

I'm a home bound person glued to her laptop for a month.
gee.

More later.
Ciao.

2009-08-24T05:26:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't you love a bite out of this baby?
It'll only cost ya... say...
US$1000
(:

Anyways.
TMR IS THE LAST freakin E-PAPER!
AND ITS PROGRAMMING!
AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!
^^v

I cannot wait.
Till this week ends.
All misery will end.
All enjoyment will be in memory.
the impt one is ofcos the 3rd line. XD

Army Boy's birthday is in 3 days.
Finally i can say he's officially out of his teen years.
Can't wait for that day. (:
<3

Till then...
Good Luck Guys!

2009-08-22T03:55:00.000-07:00

This goes same for almost all the living creatures in the word.

When you a newborn.
When you are so small.
When you're a toddler even.
Everyone notices you.
Every mistake is forgiven.
Every stupid thing you do is laughed at.
Every small thing matters.

When you're older.
They see nothing unless you are what they hoped for.
Unless you become what they wanted you to be.
Unless you be soo flawless that everything you do is right.

But if you're not.
You just.
Invisible.
Hopeless.
Forgotten.
Everything you do is wrong.
Everything you say is shunned.
Every single little thing is nth but a sham.

if you never been through any of this.
be greatful.
You're lucky.
trust me.

*I don't want to be a part of this anymore. You already made it clear that i am invisible.*

2009-08-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

Science. Like finally.
Thats 2 down and 3 to go. (:
Feels faster then ever.

Anyways, i managed to end my science e-paper too early. So i had time to take a look around.
And since i got bored. I wrote a lil smth on notepad. XD
here it is!:

"ended the test 25mins early and i am currently bored. Elaine's done too. Looking at all the other stressed faces doing work now. (:
Ealine's playing pokemon. LOL. wth. Xinyi us obviously stressed out. Bi Qin looks confused. And Jannah looks tense. -_-
and i am sick. again. i want out! Out! Out! Out! =(
Yawns. Starting to get stressed out looking at all these stressed face already. =/ "

haha. yes i was that bored. and elaine was having fun playing games. jealous cann?

So tmr is cognitive. praying hard i'll pass lah. no more drping grades plssss...
Fasting mnth is like in a day?
Can't really.
The one where u have the excuse to slp in and slack all the wayyyyy. ^^v

Ok so yea. im off. tc ya'll

2009-08-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

Tam Tam.

2009-08-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

We all feel the same way now...
That DP.
Says it all.

- As for today.-
YOU. Left me speechless.
This amount of pain.
It'll NEVER go away.
But i don't blame you.
There's no one to blame but me.
Like always.
I've had it.
Its now or never.
The word is near.
Good luck.
I'm sorry.
Its just the way it is.

2009-08-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

While waiting for the bus.
This came into my mind.

"When a taxi drive need to use the toilet, they can just stop at any point of time to the nearest restroom available. But what about bus drives? What if they need to use the restroom in the middle of a journey?"

Any ideas?
(Leave the ans at my tagboard ok. I would love to hear some. )

I'm feeling the stress now.
UT3 is coming and all hope's of me wanting to skip class have faded.
I realize how much i really need to do well.
Plus being in sch means less time at home.
Which is what i really need now.
sighs.

*I'm sorry if i backed out on my words guys. But there's some things that i'm going through that you don't know about. Hv fun okaye*

After hiding the truth and reality for so long.
Once the realization showed itself.
The pain is too intense.
Beyond what i ever felt before.
Sucks to be me at this moment.
Its too much for me to handle in such short moment.
I'm about to strike an attack on myself.
I don't know if i'd survive even.

If you understand my words.
And decode what i am about to do.
I congratulate you.

2009-08-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

Road to nowhere
BFMV

Tired and lonely still we stand
On a road to nowhere
Trapped in a world of endless days,
My engine's stalling (Road to nowhere)
Body and mind are breaking down
On a road to nowhere
Destiny silent, hear no sound
As I wait forever.

Farewell, I'll miss you
I'm sick of these good byes
'Cause it tore us apart right from the start
I miss you

Feelings have failed me
Left me cold
On this road to nowhere(Road to Nowhere)
Dreams are my saviors,
Save me now,
'Cause I know I'm fallin' (Oh yes)

Farewell, I'll miss you
I'm sick of these good byes
'Cause it tore us apart right from the start
I miss you

Candles burn slowly,
Flames shine so brightly
Light in the darkness,
Save me from madness again

Only the lonely,could possibly know me
Heat keeps on rising,
Fire engulfs me again
KEEPS ON RISING

Farewell, I'll miss you
I'm sick of these good byes
'Cause it tore us apart right from the start
I miss you

Farewell, I'll miss you
I'm sick of these good byes
'Cause it tore us apart right from the start
I miss you

2009-08-10T17:26:00.001-07:00

Its no more pouring tears and sweet goodbyes.
This time im leaving and trust me you'll fucking cry.

2009-08-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

can you decode this?

2009-08-09T23:38:00.001-07:00

10/8/2009	5:26:48 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	ppl say follow ur heart
10/8/2009	5:26:52 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	yes?
10/8/2009	5:27:02 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	but if u always follow ur heart
10/8/2009	5:27:06 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	wads the use of that brain?
10/8/2009	5:27:09 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	to leave it rotting
10/8/2009	5:27:13 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	this is the new age
10/8/2009	5:27:18 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	ppl play mind games
10/8/2009	5:27:26 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	in a way thats wad she's doing
10/8/2009	5:27:34 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	good to follow ur heart
10/8/2009	5:27:36 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	u like her
10/8/2009	5:27:39 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	u pursue
10/8/2009	5:27:44 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	at the same time
10/8/2009	5:27:47 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	think abt it
10/8/2009	5:27:52 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	ur already this frust now.
10/8/2009	5:28:03 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	how long are you gona be like this?
10/8/2009	5:28:07 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	letting urself suffer
10/8/2009	5:28:10 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	for her sake.
10/8/2009	5:28:15 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	even tho u like her
10/8/2009	5:28:19 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	ni baru bf gf
10/8/2009	5:28:23 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	blum marriage
10/8/2009	5:28:32 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	u shldnt be stressing urself out to much
10/8/2009	5:28:39 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	plus UR STILL 18!
10/8/2009	5:29:05 AM	-SD- When i say... That's it.	mamat	dun end up wasting ur teenage years. only concentrating on one thing... dun make the mistakes i made
10/8/2009	5:29:32 AM	mamat	-SD- When i say... That's it.	go write a book la lu

2009-08-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

It was the first time ever i went out on National Day to see the fireworkz in my 19 years of life.
And it will be the last for me.

I had a blast with hani.
She made the outing worth the while.
But for the others.
I'm sorry you all had to be around.
Should have left your grp alone.

that day i will never forget.
That day i would never want to repeat.
That day left a stain on my life that will never be cleared.
Just like 2 years ago.

Its over and done with.
You say to me you are oh so heartless.
Wait till you see how much more heartless i can be.

Goodbye facebook.
Till we meet again.
Same goes to you. Sir.

2009-08-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

M.O.S
So old sch now it seems. haha!

Those were the days.
I don't know if they'd be treating me the same after this.
But heck with it.
Better out with the truth then live with a lie.
(:

I know for sure i'd want to change.
I'm already feeling the impact now.
I have been good for almost a full year now.
Glad for it.
As far as i know.
I'll keep myself safe.
And be good for as long as i can.
Till then.
(:

2009-08-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

I should be revising.
But i'm not.
hmm.

It's called a holiday for a reason.
Right?
(:

Anyways.
Hani's bro's hse is nicee..
Teevee rocks.
hehe.

Wonder how bro furnished his house.
No.
Wonder if he is even alive!
=\

Life.
And its surprises.
Or rather.
Unique-ness.
Sometimes i wonder.
If all these things happen.
For the good.
Or for the worst. :\
Either way.
I DO NOT like it.
sigh.

Undecided.
Unbearable.
Undulated.

Leave me be.

2009-08-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

Talk about OLD SCHOOL.
I put my wmp on shuffle for wadever song i got in my lappy.
(since my hdd is still on hostage)
What came up playing was.
Tokyo Drift Soundtrack.
=\

Pre National Day Celebration
for w14b.

Me and my Jie. (:

2009-08-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Insanity at its best.
There are more.
But i'm tooo lazy to upload.
For those who have fb.
Go see there.
If i ever upload.
(:

Loved people in pics:
Jannah, Xinyi, Fazlee and self.
<3

2009-08-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

Label me.
Say whatever.
I couldn't care less anymore.
You'll be just another hypocrite.
Who's lying to yourself.
Cause you know yourself.
What you label me.
Is who you really are.

Friend.
Just a word.
A meaningless word until you put meaning into it.
I've lost alot.
The day they decided.
I meant nothing to them.
Its ok.
That's what they think.
They still matter to me.
No matter how much hurt i've been.
They still matter to me.
My friends.
Near or far.
They are still friends.

If your choice is to be far away.
Regard me as a passerby.
Another stranger you pass on the street.
That's your choice.
You still matter to me.
For you have done nothing so wrong.
That could not be forgiven.
For you help turn me into who i am today.
Goodbye.
Friend.
May you be well.

2009-08-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

Marina Bay Stn. Marina Barrage. Raffles Quay. China Town. Boat Quay. Arts House. City Hall. Substation Gallery. Fort Canning. Singapore National Museum. Plaza Singapura.
(:

The 4 hours walking. To all the places mentioned above. Worth the pain and exhaustion. Esp with my one and only.
Loves. (:
p.s: Pieces from substation gallery are done by Ash Toko.

One of my fav scenary pic.

Smartest invention ever.
Seat come ash tray.

As potrayed.
MY Teddybear. (:

Dear dubbed this as.
'The 'Official' Lost and Confused Little Girl"

We flew today. (:

2009-08-01T09:33:00.000-07:00

SD was/is bored.
SD went editing pics.
SD shall "show off" edited pics.
SD loves (almost) all.
SD is happy.
For now.
(:

2009-08-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

BUBBLE NITE.
(Unintended. Happened. Happy. Loved.)

Bubble Bubble.

Step Bubble.

Water Bubble.

Wall Bubble.

Floor Bubble.
(The beginning of bubble-ness)

Corner Bubble.

Nice yes?
No i wasn't biting my boy. lol.

WANTED:
Locations with tons of nice architecture. Preferbly F.O.C & easy access/transportation.
Please post suggestions on tagboard.
Thanks peeps!

2009-07-28T21:21:00.000-07:00

2009-07-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Something's wrong.
Unknowingly.
I just can't place my finger on it.
In a matter of speech.
Restless.
Too restless.
I don't like it.
That's what i'm feeling now.
:\

Cheesecake.
Finally.
But i am appetiteless.
sighs.
wad a waste.

Moving on.
My Seniors Twist Of Fate.
Small world RP.
New connections.
To old friends.
Smth to smile upon.
(:

Argh.
I feel so weak.
Dammit.

They're gone.
They are all gone.
So much for always saying they'll be there.
I can no longer trust their words.
They are just.
Gone.
Sigh.

2009-07-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

DESSERT HUNT UPDATES!

New Spot: BAKERZIN!

First came macaroons.

Then there were more! (:

Hani's:

Creme Bulee!

*She said it tasted of whipped cream. I agree*

SD's:

Javari Cake

(Rather. I forgot the name. So if u go bakerzin, its the cake below the pic of the creme brulee. lol)

*CHOCOLATE HEAVEN!*

2009-07-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

I love you.

2009-07-25T21:42:00.000-07:00

2009-07-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

Feeling so much more better.
Tho dad's singing is starting up a headache for me. :X

No marina b today.
BUT.
Plaza Sing it is!
I wans that chocker! hehe.

As long as i'm with you.
Wherever we go.
Is like a dream come true.

Cheeyy.
Stepping je tu..

Anyways, out soon!
With dear.
Since imma not meeting him next few days.
Good luck eh on night duty sayang! hehe.

31 more days till his big day.
and we just found out abt his cake!
*faints*
cos more then mine can!
pfft.
This are the things you do for an ever so demanding birthday boy.
hahas..

I can't wait to get out of the house.
:X

OMG the karaoke is starting.
*gasp*

2009-07-25T09:37:00.001-07:00

1st day.
sucks.
hope i feel better ltr.

Marina B.
Tamp 1.
Home.

That's all i ask for.
Please let me feel better.
=(

now i wants more dessert.
macaroons.
cheesecakes.
cookies.
sufles'.
gummies.
choco mosiac.
ice cream + cheesecake.
cake.
waffle.
ish.

2009-07-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

Feels as though the weekend never happened.
Pfft.

Been out every single day...
But enjoyed all of it in the process.
Unwasteful weekend.
Filled with much love, joy and laughter.
Friends and memories are much loved!! (:
Miss you guys already!
Mus meet soon! <3

Friday was Hudzie's birthday.
Went to meet her in evening.
Hung out and went insane all through the nite.
Marina to esplanade.
We had fun and its been like ages since we met.
Much fun indeed.

Saturday was the half planned, half un planned day.
Startled by mum's phone call.
Awoke past mid-day. Gosh!
went out to buy the new 'for once' formal shirt.
and blazer to go with it. (:
Ate aft.
Met dear and went to the IC BBQ.
The turnout was... unexpected.
But i managed to catch up on some of the old members.
Met new ones too.
Still had much fun.
Ah and Farhan came in uni!
lols.
Botak ke pe boi!
XD

Sunday!
Was actually dreading to go Little India.
But still dragged myself to accompany dear.
Passed by laselle.
WOW. (:
Then saw Shiraz!
Affordable and yummy and filling!
PLUS there was Shisha!
tho we didnt try today.
Next weekend maybe? (:
Then off to bugis.
It was insane!
From bugis to boat quay.
Cinamon meltz.
Finally he got em.
Satisfaction for his cravings.
ahah.
Then off back to his house to borrow some things.
The pro's of having a bf with a sporting sis n mum.
teehee.

Back home aftwards.
Am sooooooooo tired now.
Not looking fwd to sch.
*mumbles*
Aite more soon.
weee~
Beddy Bye! XD

GOOGIES!

The birthday girl and friends.

Me and Hani-Chan ((:

oh n ash in the back. hehe

IC BBQ!

SHIRAZ CAFE!

Yummy kebab! (:

Me n dear (:

2009-07-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

Cookie-fied!
(:

I LOVE COOKIES!
I GOT COOKIES!
WHO WANTS COOKIES?
;D

Pics up tmr.

Cookies by SD n Hani-chan.
<3

2009-07-16T04:50:00.000-07:00

Imma waiting for Hani.
And i am.
B-O-R-E-D.
(:

So i shall blog.

I declare this day.

THE GUMMY DAY!
*actually everyday is gummy day!*
teehee.

Tis slide.
was UNINTENTIONAL!
HONEST!
*gives the most innocent looking eyes*
i just happen to find the pics.
and it looks like gummy
hehe.

See. I found this on photobucket.
Gummy war!

I give you...
MY GUMMY CLAN!
MUAHAHAHAH!
We got PINK stickers today.
We all know how much SD dislikes pink. (:
Thus.
My reaction.
With Jannah n Biqin on each side of me.
Holding PINK stickers!

This was my AFTER reaction. hehe

I think this was like.
A few days back.
I was "dutifuly" in class.
And dearest girl there went to macs.
Jealous lah!
And i didnt know she took screenshot till today.
When she upload on FB.
lols.
p.s: my dear ur bdae watch out ahh... XDImma stop here.
Update about cookies later.
hehe.

HANI! WHERE ARE YOU!?
=\

2009-07-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

On the looooooong bus ride home (to bedok).
I got bored.
Dear was sleeping.
I had a "acceptable" camera hp. (well at least one of us has it)

And we passed some places.
So i took random pics.
Tho i can't upload the ones with dear.
Cos he was in uni.
And is a rule bla bla bla.
XD

BRO I WANA PINJAM YOUR DSLR AH!

Anyways.
Sch.
Enterprise.
Kill me.
Simply said.
:\

Imma go study programming now!

2009-07-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

PHOTOGRAPHY FRENZY

Gummies are my tastebuds best friend. (:
p.s: dats me. the gummy!

Someone sure had a speed catcher cam for his. I love it!

Its sweet.

Grafitti Art. <3

An alternative to expressing feelings... (:

2009-07-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

You made my day.
Made all the bitterness go away.
The anger i had now left behind.
You are truly one of a kind.
I love you soo much!
muacks!

Your simplest guestures shows it all.
Though i know i can be upset over them sometimes.
But you are the only one who understands.
Darling its always just me and you.
Forever and ever and ever true.
That is one of the reasons.
Of why.
I love you.

*Thanks soo much dear! You made me smile endlessly.. hehe.. Love you!!*

2009-07-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

I wish you would think of what you say before you say it.
Telling me things that i did wrong.
Asking me where i learn that from.
My answer is simple.
One you will never accept.
Cause you think you are so perfect.
The whole world has to revolve around you.
Always you and only you.
You created me.
You created this book.
This is where i learnt it.
This is where i used it.
This is when you feel it.
But you are just too proud.

Too full of yourself.
Strutting around.
You ain't innocent.
Your lies are so transparent.
I'm saying this one last time.
You are transparent.

The day i fly away.
The day i get away.
No one can stop me.
I won't let them.
When i make that day the day.
It will be the day.
All you can do.
Is see me fly away.

The most uneventful.
Emo-istic.
Day ever.
Go ahead label me.
Fck you for all i care.

I was hurt.
No.
I was in much pain.
It made no difference.
It is not life threatening enough.

I pity him lying there weak and unmoved.
Still in a daze.
Oh when he wakes up he will feel the pain.

The atmosphere of that room.
I was unable to bear.
I kept fighting these tears back.
As those memories flashes back in mind.
It hurts to think.
Of what happens.
If he.
...

I won't deal with it.
I won't think about it.
He has to make it.
He is the only one left.
The only one they care for.
Pure and untouched.
Please god.
Let him leave.
Take me instead.

It has been my wish.
unfulfilled.
Claim me as i'm ever so willing.
Spare him his life.
He has a lot to live for.
Meaningful in their eyes.
I only have one.

2009-07-10T20:14:00.001-07:00

The hell song
Sum 41
(intro-ed by Violent CW Dok)

Everybodys got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
Its just a matter how you solve them
And knowing how to change the things youve been through

I fear Ive come to realize
How fast life can be compromised
Stand back to see whats going on
I cant believe this happened to you, this happened to you

Its just a problem that were faced with
Am I not the only one that hates to standby
Complications headed first in this line
With all these pictures running through my mind

Knowing endless consequences
I feel so useless in this
Cant patch that back and as for me, I cant believe

[chorus:]
Part of me, wont agree
Cause I dont know if its for sure
Sunnenly, suddenly
I dont feel so insecure
Anymore

Everybodys got their problems
Everybody says the same things to you
Its just a matter how you solve them
What else are we supposed to do

[chorus x2]

(why do things that matter the most
Never end up cutting close

Now that I find out, it aint so bad

I dont think I knew what I had) [x2]

2009-07-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

My reality.
Is what i dream off.
What i have now.
Is my reality of nightmares.

Run.
I wish.
Each and everyday.
Run.
Far far away.

Escape.
I could only dream of.
It hurts.
To see that my dream.
Slowly melts away.
As i awake each morning.
Slipping away.
Like the waves.
Returning not to be the same.

Stormy Nights.
Crashing waves.
Those dark blackened skies.
Being lost at sea.
That where i am.
But that is not where i want to be.

Rescue me.
Get me out of this dream.
This nightmare.
Bring me back.
To my reality.
The one i want.
The one i need.
The one where there is you and me.

With each waking moment.
A part of me crumbles away.
Blown by the wind.
Invisible dust.

How long more.
Do i have to be this way.
How long more.
Do i have to endure this.
How long more.
How long more.
How long.
Tell me.

Quando.
Quando.
Quando.

2009-07-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

Moody Dayz.
Seems like its for everyone.
Self declared holiday anyone?
Even i'm affected.
Geez.
Moody-ness is contagious!
=\

Mood swings all around.
Being easily irritated and bugged.
Lacking of sleep.
School's not helping either.
*Come throw ice cold water at me*
Wake me up!

How i wish things were different.
Sighs.

The best things in life.
Are yet to come.
The best things in life.
Would come from the worst you had.
Is that true?
If it is.
Why does it feel so wrong?
No don't throw that old school bullsh*t at me.
I mean it when I say.
Why does it feel so wrong?
And.
Why does the bad always come along.
Where's the good?
Where's the justice.
Oh the questions.
It's literally killing me.
=\

To all.
Seriously i mean it when i say.
My bro's in the hosp.
No joke.
So please.
Stop accusing me of fraud.
Just cause i can't be out.
With you.
It's not that i don't want to.
It's cos i can't.
Please understand.
And stop these rumors.
If you are truly a friend.
You would have understand.

For now i say.
I've lost many.
Gained a lot.
Though no one i meet.
Are ever the same.
These impressions they leave on me.
All so different.
Sighs.
If only...

Unstable me.
Its back.
I'm a walking time bomb.
Don't mind me.
It's me.
If you really want to see.
This is who i am.
The truth.

End.

=\

2009-07-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

With the meal serving which already came with a watermelon slice.
There accompanied with it.
Was a packet of Fruit Salad.
*Fruit salad. Yummy yummy!*
(:

Its been an improvement.
All seemed better now.
Rain came pouring down late evening.
Just what we all needed.

Nearly suffocated in the four walls.
Pfft.
Note to self.
Bring laptop and play games.
(:

Sleepy.
Yet not wanting to sleep.
Hungry.
Yet too lazy to get up.
Wanting to get things ready for sch.
Too tired to move about.
I feel worse then a couch potato.
:\

Miss teddy dear!
In much need of his warm hugs.
But.
It can wait.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Meeting too much = JELAK LA!
(:

Night fell.
Day's gona break soon.
Time for me to hop on the snooze train.
Till tmr.
Nite ya'll.

*I still feel the same. That note you called suicide.*

2009-07-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

What kinda doc breaks a test tube filled with blood and fail to get it cleaned!
Esp infectious blood.
Wth.
You go buy your certs ah?
Wait. No.
I'd say.
These kinda docs should go back ITE and take Lab Safety Practices.
Maybe they'll get smth in thier head.
Pffft.

If i was to be admitted for a long period of time.
I would request other hosp.
Seriously.
From what i've seen.
Ish.
Speechless.

Vivo with dear, hani and mamat.
Transformers!
Like finally.
OMG the show was good. (:
Thumbs up!

Met Shari at the hosp.
Lift attendant.
haha.
No one informed him about installation nite.
pfft.
How cruel.
Oh wells.
Wen you're out.
You're forgotten.
Seem that way now.
Too bad.

Run run run.
My mind's running wild.
Flashbacks.
Of every little thing.
Random things.
Correction.
Random memories.
Freaks me out sometimes.
Still i guess its about time.
Though its driving me to the edge.
Back to that edge.
Which i evaded for soo long.
Why now?

Desperate.
Looking for a way out.
Please.
Let me out.

Run run run.
Forever will be.
That way.
That is my life.
Run.

Like hands of evil.
Trying to grip me tight.
Not let me go.
Impose nightmares of my past.
Leave me helpless and hopeless.
Dragging me down every inch of the way.
Till the day.
They manage to take my life away.
Or I willingly give it up to them.
These hands of evil.

I deserve it.

2009-07-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

Those tears i shed.
Meant nothing.
The feelings i said out.
Seemed meaningless now.
I wonder sometimes.
Is it me that you really want?
Or is it?
Forget it.

Coming to this.
I wonder who my real friends will be.
Now.
In this new place.
In this new time.
I wonder.

If you know the real me.
My past reality.
My current wants.
My desires.
My status.
Would you.
Still be my friend?

U see me as me.
Knowing so much.
Looking like i know everything.
But do you really know me?

Unmask me of this innocent look.
Come see beyond what you know.
Take a ride into my life.
You'll find me.
Hopefully.

Burried under all these lies.
These deceptions.
These hopes.
These dreams.
Shattered.
Can you see me?
Can you find me?
Do you still want to be near me?

This tainted mind and heart.
This is all i've got.
Can you accept it?
Or will you be.
One of them.

I want to know.
Never judge a book by its cover.
Never.
Ever.
Never.

*Please leave me in that corner alone.*
*At the back of this haunting mind.*
*If you can't accept who i am.*
*Run for your life now.*
*Spare yourself*
*Be free*
*Run*
(:

End.